


Da Shadowhunter Group Chat + A Warlock and Werewolf

by SmileySmiles137



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Fluff, GAY ALL DA WAY, How Do I Tag, IDK WAT IM DOING, M/M, fluffy fluff, i cant tag, i promise the spelling is better where it's supposed to be, im addicted, is that how u spell it??, like zero angst, pls, someone help me, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 15:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11694489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileySmiles137/pseuds/SmileySmiles137
Summary: Simon Lewis: HEY GUYSSSSSS!!!!!!!Alec Lightwood: yClary Fairchild: Oh hey.Jace Herondale: Go awayJace Herondale: Someone delete this group chat.





	1. Chapter 1

_Simon Lewis_ _added Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fairchild, and 4 others to a group chat._

_Simon Lewis changed the group name to ‘Simon Lewis and His Sidekicks’_

**Simon Lewis** : HEY GUYSSSSSS!!!!!!!

 **Alec Lightwood** : y

 **Clary Fairchild** : Oh hey.

 **Jace Herondale** : Go away

 **Jace Herondale** : Someone delete this group chat.

_Jace Herondale has left the group chat_

_Simon Lewis added Jace Herondale to the chat_

**Simon Lewis** : I’M GIVIN EVRYONE NICKNAMES

 **Clary Fairchild** : No

 **Alec Lightwood** : I will throttle u in your sleep

 **Magnus Bane** : Darling, the kitchen knives r always open for use.

_Simon Lewis changed Alec Lightwood’s name to meanie butt_

_Simon Lewis changed Magnus Bane’s name to meanie butt’s partner in crime_

**meanie butt** : wth

_meanie butt changed Magnus Bane’s name to Glitterman_

**Glitterman** : Y thank u

_meanie butt changed Simon Lewis’s name to idiot_

**idiot** : HOW DARE U

_Alec Lightwood changed Jace Herondale’s name to biggest idiot_

**biggest idiot** : Not cool

_Alec Lightwood changed Clary Fairchild’s name to tiny red mushroom_

**tiny red mushroom** : I’m not that short.

_tiny red mushroom changed meanie butt’s name to Magnus’s Boyfriend_

_idiot changed Glitterman’s name to Alec’s Boyfriend_

_idiot changed idiot’s name to #1 Malec Shipper_

**#1 Malec Shipper** : *high fives clary*

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : NO

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : NO

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : NO

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : NO

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : NO

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : I WILL KILL YOU LEWIS

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : hehe

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : I am the #1 malec shipper, bitch

 **tiny red mushroom** : u can’t ship yourself with someone else

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : Yes u can

_Alec’s Boyfriend changed tiny red mushroom’s name to Biscuit_

**Biscuit** : Better.

_biggest idiot changed biggest idiot’s name to Naturally Blond_

**Magnus’s Boyfriend** : WOW.

 **Isabelle Lightwood** : HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY there now i’m here and ur day jus improved ur welcome

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : nooooooooo

 **Isabelle Lightwood** : Lovin the nicknames *wink wink*

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : staph

_#1 Malec Shipper changed Isabelle Lightwood’s name to HOT STUFF_

**HOT STUFF** : aww

 **Naturally Blond** : ew

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : agreed

 **HOT STUFF** : everyone has my permission to stab my brothers’s eyes out bc clearly they don’t work

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : DON’T YOU TOUCH MY PRECIOUS BABY

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : Magnus…

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : NO. HIS EYES R BEAUTIFUL AND THOSE AMAZING BLUE ORBS WORK PERFECTLY FINE. STAB JACE ALL U WANT BUT ALEC’S EYES R TOO PRETTY TO BE STABBED.

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : yours r prettier

 **Biscuit** : Aww

 **Naturaly Blond** : Aww

 **HOT STUFF** : Aww

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

_#1 Malec Shipper changed the group name to ‘All the Malec Shippers’_

**Maia Roberts** : Yes.

_Magnus’s Boyfriend has left the group chat_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS FOR DE KIND COMMENTS THANK YOU THANK YOU 
> 
> anyways u asked fer it here ya go
> 
> deres ike 10x mur swear words in chap 2 :)

**Magnus’s Boyfriend** : Alright who added me back into the chat i will kill u

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : I did ;)

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : nvm

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : *whips tear from eye*

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : Shut up simon

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : WAIT IS EVERYONE HERE

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : Can u leave

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : rude

 **Biscuit** : Yeah

 **HOT STUFF** : HEEYYYY

 **Naturally Blond** : Hi claaaaaaaaaaryyyyyyy :D

 **Bisciut** : Shaddup jace

 **Naturally Blond** : D:

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : SO I WANNA DO A COUPLE THINGY

 **Maia Roberts** : Bat isn’t in the chat

 **#1 Malec Shipper** : Oh sry do u want me to add him??

 **Maia Roberts** : Nah I’m busy rite now dont bother

_#1 Malec Shipper changed Maia Roberts’s name to MaiMai_

**Alec’s Boyfriend** : k simon ur name is getting on my nerves that needs to change

_Alec’s Boyfriend changed #1 Malec Shipper’s name to #2 Malec Shipper_

**#2 Malec Shipper** : NO.

 **#2 Malec Shipper** :SIODHLFNJ

 **#2 Malec Shipper** :SDOQIJSXNCJBWYIURUY

 **#2 Malec Shipper** :AOEUONCSUGEOW

 **#2 Malec Shipper** :FEQOQPDCNUIEGHEQOIDKCNIWHIHFIHIDOW

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : chill

 **HOT STUFF** : shouldn’t u b da #1 sizzy shipper

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : u cant ship urself with someone else magnus is just being a stubborn meanie butt

 **HOT STUFF** : y am i even dating u

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : ON WITH DA STUFF

 **#2 MALEC SHIPPER** : PEEPS. WHERE DID U MEET UR SOULMATES?!?!?!?! THIS ? IS MOSTLY FER MALEC

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : Excuse me??

 **Naturally Blond** : Are u saying me and clary arent soulmates

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : u guys r close but considering the fact that u two had sex in hell pushes u down the ladder a lil bit

 **Biscuit** : nobody’s perfect

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : BUT ME AN IZZY ARE MEAAAAANT TOOOOOO BEEEEEEEEE

 **HOT STUFF** : member the time when u got turned into a rat?

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : MOVING ON

 **HOT STUFF** : and the vampire fase

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : MAGNUS. ALEC. ANSWER.

_Magnus’s Boyfriend has left the group chat_

_#2 Malec Shipper added Magnus’s Boyfriend into the group chat_

_Magnus’s Boyfriend has changed the group name to ‘simon sucks’_

**#2 Malec Shipper** : ok first of all how dare u second STAY

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : …

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : Good dog

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : Simon, keep urself about 100 m away from alec for the next few wks

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : y

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : We were cuddling on the couch before this txting conversation started (we still r hehe) but now alec looks like he wants to murder his phone

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : noted

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : MAGNUS WHAT THE HELL

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : oopsie

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : I think we can all safely say that this couple interview was a complete failure.

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : guys??

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : ok

_Today, September 14th_

**HOT STUFF** : Wait just to be clear we all know that i’m the #1 malec shipper, rite??

 **HOT STUFF** : like srsly i shipped dem FROm. ThE. STaRt.

 **HOT STUFF** : SO SIMON. YES, U R DE #2. I AM #1.

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : For once in ur life ur rite

 **HOT STUFF** : WHAT DID U JUS SAY

 **Magnus’s Boyfriend** : U dont talk when txting idiot

_Magnus’s Boyfriend changed Magnus’s Boyfriend’s name to Smarter Than Izy_

**Smarter Than Izy** : ye

 **HOT STUFF** : no. Jst...no

_Smarter Than Izy changed Smarter Than Izy’s name to Magnus’s Fiance_

**Magnus’s Fiance** : um… iz? Its been 5 mins is no one here anymur

 **Naturally Blond:** I can hear her screaming from my bedroom

 **Naturally Blond** : I’m surprised the windows r still here

 **HOT STUFF** : WHAT

 **HOT STUFF** : UDWVHBDAPQIOUIHDJNCHVWHUHDGYFVBHJIWQO

 **HOT STUFF** : GUDIWHDJLCBOUW

 **HOT STUFF** : OHFUWHUKJSCBOIWGFUE

 **HOT STUFF** : HIHWWBchisHCAHYUHJEQNSJohse82y4r3ehjfhcqUDHbjaf

 **HOT STUFF** :308ry1hefqvaduqhut4grvjhg

 **HOT STUFF** :hvvhhfbdfgghjr

 **HOT STUFF** : HOLD UP

 **HOT STUFF** : Y DIDNT U FUCKING TELL ME

 **HOT STUFF** : WTF

 **HOT STUFF** : FUCK U FER KEEPING ME IN THE DARK

 **HOT STUFF** : I HATE U

 **HOT STUFF** : MAGNUS PROPOSED?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : y did u automatically think of magnus i could hv proposed

 **HOT STUFF** : ur too chiken it woud nevr happen

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : excusameeeeeee

 **Naturally Blond** : UHOWFBAWYBJDIHBWJJKDIHFUEGYHIJIFHUIBWJH

 **Biscuit** : FINALLY YEES YES YES YES YES

 **MaiMai** : First of all i will kill whoever made my nickname “maimai” and second of all CONGRATTTTTTTS

 **HOT STUFF** : D

 **HOT STUFF** : E

 **HOT STUFF** : T

 **HOT STUFF** : A

 **HOT STUFF** : I

 **HOT STUFF** : L

 **HOT STUFF** : S

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : *dies*

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : No, and were all of u jus spying on me an izzys conversation the whole time??

 **MaiMai** : yes

 **Naturally Blond** : duh

 **Biscuit** : of course

 **Alec’s Boyfriend** : mhm, now someone pls change my name to alec’s fiance

_HOT STUFF changed Alec’s Boyfriend’s name to Alec’s Fucking Fiance_

**Magnus’s Fiance** : chill, iz

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : NOW TALK

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : No magnus dont say anything izzy will kill me dont do it if u luv me

 **Alec’s Fucking Fiance** : ...

 **Alec’s Fucking Fiance** : So I left a note with all kinds of weird clues for alec when he came home from the institute and it led him to a hidden place in the forest when i had his picnic/candle lit dinner thing

 **HOT STUFF** : *sighs and drops dead from a heart attack*

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : MAGNUS. STAPH. PLEZ. plsssssss

 **Alec’s Fucking Fiance** : and then when we were done i told him to look up and i magicked da stars into will u mary and when he looked down he waz crying and i waz already on one knee wit da ring and den he hugged me and we kissd an he said yasssss

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : MAGNUS Y I SAID TO SHADDUP

 **Alec’s Fucking Fiance** : no u didn’t u said “staph” and “plez”

 **HOT STUFF** : OMG OMG OMG BY THE ANGELLLLL BUT I SAID DETAILS. ALEC TELL ME

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : Oh my god shut up AND MAGNUS ILY BUT UR A ASSHOLE

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : plus candle lit dinner was an understatement u were this close to setting the whole park on fire

 **Biscuit** : omg omg omg omg omg yayayayayayayay jace y cant u be dat romantic

 **Naturally Blond** : i managed to memorize all ur favorite flowers and i got u dem and i get u ur fav soup when u sad AND I KNOW ALL THE BRANDS OF PAINT THAT R DE BEST QUALITY THAT U TOLD ME ABOUT SO GIVE ME SOME CREDIT

 **HOT STUFF** : I demand a pic of the ring

 **HOT STUFF** : NOWWWWWWW

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : u’ll see it tmr at wrk

 **HOT STUFF** : I. SAID. NOW.

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : No its time to kissy kissy magnus face i go bai bai

 **HOT STUFF** : EXCUSES

 **HOT STUFF** : COME BACK HERE

 **Naturally Blond** : MAGNUS FORCE HIM TO TAKE A PIC SEND IT TO USSSS

 **Biscuit** : MAGNUS. ALEC. GET UR ASSES BACK HERE.

 **MaiMai** : They phone prob on silent i give up

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : NOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : GET BACK HERE U SONS OF BITCHES

 **HOT STUFF** : U HEARD HIM

 **HOT STUFF** : alec u better watch out at training tmr i will first fangirl over the ring and then i will choke u to death

 **HOT STUFF** : ily big bro

 **Biscuit** : Jace and i will be the flowergirls

 **Naturally Blond** : WHAT. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HERE YA GOOOOOOO

 

_Alec’s Fucking Fiance changed Alec’s Fucking Fiance’s name to Alec’s Fiance_

**Alec’s Fiance** : so im thinking a duck themed wedding

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : YAAAAAAAAS ILY MAGNUS ILY ILY ILY

 **Naturally Blond** : y does evry1 hate me

 **Alec’s Fiance** : ur vry hatable

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : Actually i’d rather not feel the cry baby’s fear the entire wedding through our parabati bond

 **Naturally Blond** : hey!!!!! No!!!!! I IS NOT CRY BABY

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : _attachment_

 **Naturally Blond** : JNFHOUHFDLJEHBYVDDVNEUIGB ITS A DUCKKKKKK

 **MaiMai** : u guys r weird

_Naturally Blond changed MaiMai’s name to BumBum_

**Naturally Blond** : bumbum. Hehe

 **BumBum** : UR SO IMMATURE

 **Naturally Blond** : heheheheheheehheeeeee BUMBUM BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH

 **BumBum** : y am i evn here

 

_BumBum changed BumBum’s name to TheCOOLest_

_TheCOOLest changed Naturally Blond’s name to Immature Idiot That’s Afraid of Ducks_

**Immature Idiot That’s Afraid of Ducks** : hey!! Duck = evil. U shud be scared

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : ok ur name takes up like half the screen dat needa change

_Magnus’s Fiance changed Immature Idiot That’s Afraid of Ducks’s name to IIToD_

**IIToD** : u guys all hate me

 **TheCOOLest** : ily all cept fer IIToD

 **IIToD** : I cant stand u bullies

 **IIToD** : and im not coming to the wedding if deres ducks

 **Alec’s Fiance** : BUT WE NEED A FLOWERGIRL

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : YAS AN UR PERFECTO

 **IIToD** : im leaving u bullies

 **Alec’s Fiance** : wait so it just u and me now?????

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : pretty much

 **TheCOOLest** : i will give u privacy

 **TheCOOLest** : thirdwheelng doesnt sound appealin

 **Alec’s Fiance** : i miss u :(

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : sry im coming home an hr early from wrk today tho

 **Alec’s Fiance** : U WILL CUDDLE WITH ME AND WE WILL WATCH PROJECT RUNWAY

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : on 2nd thought…

 **Alec’s Fiance** : dont u dare

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : yes sir

 **Robert Lightwood** : Ok why is Magnus Bane replacing me

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : WHO THE HELL ADDED MY DAD

 **Robert Lightwood** : Wow. Be more welcoming in the future

_Robert Lightwood has left the group chat_

**Magnus’s Fiance** : Wait is anyone watching us txt

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : be honest

 **IIToD** : here

 **Biscuit** : here

 **HOT STUFF** : here

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : hi

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : srsly

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : so apparently MaiMai is the only nice one

 **TheCOOLest** : ITS NOT MAIMAI ITS THECOOLEST

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : nvm i hate u all

_Today, December 25th, 10:02 AM_

**IIToD** : guys i just put a mistletoe right above this hallway that I know magnus an alec r gonna be going through an since tadays da wedding i thought y not

 **Biscuit** : ily

 **HOT** **STUFF** : do u have ur phone w/ u?? RECORD IT

 **IIToD** : 1 step aheada ya

 **IIToD** : DEY COMING

 **IIToD** : magnus see da mistletoe

 **IIToD** : alec blushing

 **IIToD** : magnus pulling him in

 **IIToD** : DEY KISSING

 **IIToD** : OH MAH GAWD

 **IIToD** : I HAVE IT ON VIDEEEEOOO

 **IIToD** : now i can blackmail alec later heheheheheheheheeeeeeeee

 **HOT** **STUFF** : im proud of ya jace

 **Biscuit** : as am i

 **IIToD** : *blashes* ;)

 **Biscuit** : nvm

 **IIToD** : D’:

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : ok my phone keeps vibrating in my pocket I AM BUSY so stap txting

 **HOT** **STUFF** : busy? With waaaaaat

 **HOT STUFF** : HEY ITS BEEN 12 MINS RESPOND

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : its nonya bisniss

 **IIToD** : he too busy kissy kissy mwah mwah mwah magnus face

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : we shouldve left u at edom

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : izy too

 **Biscuit** : haha me an simon r da favs

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : and clary

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : ESPECIALLY SIMON

 **#2 Malec Shipper** : mmrh

 **IIToD** : MWAH MWAH MWAH

 **Magnus’s Fiance** : stfu jace

 **IIToD** : but...butt

 **IIToD** : butt hehe

 **TheCOOLest** : how FUCKING old r u!?!?!?!!?

 **IIToD** : heheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeehehehehehehehehe

 **Alec’s** **Fiance** : jace thx fer da mistletoe u did somethig rite fer once in ur sry ass life

 **Magnus’s** **Fiance** : now go put on ur flowergirl dress i have it ready for u in ur room

 **IIToD** : WAIT WAT I THOUGHT U WERE KIDDING

_December 25th, 10:43 PM_

_#2 Malec Shipper changed the group name to 'MALEC. IS. MARRRRRIED.'_

_#2 Malec Shipper changed Alec’s Fiance’s name to Alec’s Husband_

_#2 Malec Shipper changed Magnus’s Fiance’s name to Magnus’s HusBANE_

**Magnus’s** **HusBANE** : r u kidding me

 **Alec’s** **Husband** : this world is full of idiots, an u, simon, r 1 of dem

 **IIToD** : worst nickname in the history of nicknames

 **#2** **Malec** **Shipper** : I’D LIKE TO SEE U TRY

 **IIToD** : challenge excepted

_IIToD changed Magnus's HusBANE's name to BowBow_

_IIToD changed Alec’s Husband’s name to BaneBane_

_IIToD changed TheCOOLest’s name to MaiMai_

_IIToD changed #2 Malec Shipper’s name to DumDum_

_IIToD changed HOT STUFF’s name to BumBum_

_IIToD changed IIToD’s name to SmartSmart_

_SmartSmart changed Biscuit’s name to MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH_

**BumBum** : these r literally the worst

 **SmartSmart** : BUT ALEC USEs BOWS AN ARROWS AND IM SMART AND MAGNUS’S LAST NAME IS BANE AND MAI IS SHORT FER MAIA AND SIMON IS A DUMMY AND U R A BUTT

 **BaneBane** : still

 **MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH:** Jace u r horrible at nicknames

 **MaiMai** : agreededed

 **DumDum** : isnt my name a lolypop brand

_BowBow has left the group chat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im probably gonna continue this work, but right now i need to start updating Soar i know ima jerk but i thought this might be fun


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIII im back

**BowBow** : oh mah godnesss s this nickname is amzgn i lave all of te nikcnames

**DumDum** : r u drunk?

**BowBow** : mayb BUT IT NO DOS NOT MATER

**BowBow** : jace conviicd me to go to a partiee

**BowBow** : ND HE DICHED MEEE

**SmartSmart** : No i didnt i told u we were leaving and u were already a tad bit drunk and wanted to stay

**BowBow** : no u r a bulee and stupid and i had to WALK HOM

**MaiMai** : drunk alec is adorable

**BaneBane** : agreed now get ur own alec

**MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH** : but i wanna alec…

**BaneBane** : too bad

_ SmartSmart changed BaneBane’s name to BananaBane _

**BananaBane** : …

**SmartSmart** : hehe

**BowBow** : BANANA BANE I LUV UUUUUUU

**BananaBane** : ily too

**BowBow** : banananananananananananananananaaaaa BATMANNNNN

**BowBow** : hehe batman bane

**BowBow** : high warlok of my beeeeeeeeeeeeed

**SmartSmart** : let’s keep this pg for da baby

**MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH** : theres a baby in the chat??

**SmartSmart** : yas, an innocent, innocent baby

**DumDum** : U, clary

**BumBum** : an we vow to protect ur innocence

**MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH** : i am this close to leaving the chat

**BowBow** : batman bane: high warlock of me beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

**BumBum** : wait for the little one to leave, alec

**BowBow** : oh i am so so so so sry ok 

**MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH** : i hate u all

_ MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH has left the conversation _

**BowBow** : ok maggie my new husBANEEEE i wanna kiss u

**SmartSmart** : mwahmwahmwah

**BowBow** : NO UR NT ALOWED TA KIZ MY HuSBANE JacE hE IS My HuSBAne

**BowBow** : allll mine

**BowBow** : mags is like super hot way hottter jace in my opinion like way hotter and im gay  im right in this simon not dat hot but he kinda like nerd hot so hotter than jace if u think about it but MAGNUS HUSBANE IS LIKE SOOOOOO GUD LOOKING LIKE HE GOT DA CUTEST SNEEZE AN I JUS WANNA KISSY HIS FASE AND HIS EYES R SO PRETTY like the green gold is all swirly whirly but he always embarraseded when his glaaamer slips and tries to hide his eyes AND IT FRUSTATSSSSS ME SO MACH LIKE I WANNA SEE DOSE EYES

**BananaBane** : i think im crying

**DumDum** : im definitly crying

**BumBum** : that is the most beautiful thing i have ever read

**BumBum** : although ur drunk spellin needs work

**SmartSmart** : Am i the only one whos personally offended??

**MaiMai** : Yes

**BananaBane** : u r getting lotsa kisses when ur sober, darling

**BananaBane** : i think im actually crying

**BowBow** : can i have my kisses rite now??

**BananaBane** : no

**BowBow** : GASP

**BowBow** : WHY

**BananaBane** : u no sober

**BananaBane** : plus i have no idea where u r

**BowBow** : ...lost

**BumBum** : lolololololololollllll

**MaiMai** : i cant

**BananaBane** : shut up u 2

**BananaBane** : and alc darling how r u lost ur a shadowhunter, supposed to know every dark alley and rooftop of ny

**BowBow** : i am very sorry

**BananaBane** : oh god i just caaaaantttttt

**BananaBane** : UR JUS TOO CUTE WHEN UR DRUNK

**BananaBane** : FOWBJSNXIOUWBQJSPQIHOUHWCBNKJ

**BowBow** : we rrrr maaaaried

**BowBow** : giv me kizzez

**BowBow** : i want kiss

**BowBow** : pls

**BumBum** : u guys r breaking my heart

**DumDum** : sameeeeee

**MaiMai** : its just too cuuuuuute

**SmartSmart** : im still offended

**BumBum** : y on earth would u be offended

**SmartSmart** : NO 1 ON THIS PLANET IS HOTTER THAN ME. I AM FUCKING HOTTER THAN THE SUN. SIMON DEOSNT EVEN COMPARE.

**BananaBane** : drunk mind speak sober thought

**BumBum** : BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

**MaiMai** : oh god im dying

**DumDum** : HEAR THAT JACE??!?!?!? IM HOTTTAAAAARRRR

**BowBow** : yas magnus is HAWT

**BowBow** : my bf is amazing he can majic da stars into wil u mary me 

**BowBow** : best boyfriend 

**BumBum** : NOT TRUE

**DumDum** : aww

**BowBow** : i caught u 2 lying on the groud making out in literal hell

**BowBow** : jeez y cant straihgt ppl contorl themselvs

**SmartSmart** : says the guy who tackled his bf in a kiss the second ‘high warlock of alec’s bed’ walked into the institute. U GUYS WERE APART FOR FUCKING 6 HRS

**BumBum** : ya and the same thing happened but the other way around jus a few days ago. THREE. HRS. 

**DumDum** : AND U SAY STRAIGHT PPL CANT CONTROL THEMSELVES

**DumDum** : ALEC U LITERALLY JUMPED ONTO THE POOR GUY AND WRAPPED UR LEGS AROUND HIM

**SmartSmart** : UR LUCKY HES HELLA TALL OR ELSE HE WOULD’VE TUMBLED TO THE FLOOR

**BananaBane** : ...i dont mind

**BumBum** : AND U. FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK THAT ALEC WAS IN IDRIS THAT ONE TIME. PRETTY MUCH EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY U 2 TEXTING NONSTOP. WTH

**SmartSmart** : HIS PHONE BE DINGING AND BUZZING LIKE CRAZY

**DumDum** : SO DONT DO THIS WHOLE HYPOCRISY THING ON US

**BumBum** : LOOK AT URSELVES

**SmartSmart** : um, hello???? It’s been 3 mins

**BananaBane** : i just found him a block away from my loft

**BananaBane** : i thought he said he was lost

**Banana Bane** : he’s crying and saying u guys r mean for ganging up on him like that and “scream txting”

**BananaBane** : “they dont needa be so mean those meanie butts are so mean. They r bully butts”

**BumBum** : oh my god I WANNA DRUNK ALEC I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE

**DumDum** : we could raise it as our kid

**SmartSmart** : AND I WOULD BE UNCLE JACE

**BumBum** : no u would be a horrible uncle...u be like ‘ok bby dis is a knife u hold it like dis NO NO NO NO NOT LIKE THAT… um, izzy ur drunk alec slit his throat'

**SmartSmart** : ...it isnt that far from the truth

**BananaBane** : k we in the loft 

**BananaBane** : oh dear

**BumBum** : WAT

**BananaBane** : He’s adressing chairman meow as ‘ball of mr. fluffly fluff fluffiness dat cuter dan magnus’ 

**BananaBane** : ‘magnus not cute. He jus hot an sexxyyyyyyyyyyyyy’

**BananaBane** : ‘actually i chage my mind. Chairman is sexy. Magnus is cute when he sneeze. Chairman look hot when he sneeze’

**BananaBane** : im dying

**BananaBane** : should i be offended???

**BumBum** : i honestly dont know

**SmartSmart** : we r jus all fucked up human beings its ok

**MaiMai** : i’ll drink to that


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> if u can fine the I in those exclamation marks i applaud u
> 
> anyways thx for all the kudos an comments!!!!!!!!! it makes my day :D

**BowBow** : Jace u suck

 **BowBow** : How come nobody has changed the nicknames

 **BowBow** : These nicknames r horrible

 **DumDum** : NOOOOOOO

 **BowBow** : ??

 **SmartSmart** : OUR SWEET SWEET DRUNK ALEC HAS LEFT US

 **BumBum** : RIP MY DEAREST

 **BowBow** : shaddup

 **BananaBane** : Now i have me grumpy alec back!!

 **DumDum** : U r literally the only one who’s happy

 **BananaBane** : das ok

 **BowBow** : Simon i swear if u dont change these nicknames rite now i will find u nd murder u

 **DumDum** : y cant u do it

 **BowBow** : My nickname skillz r terrible

 **BumBum** : So like 10x better dan jace

 **BowBow** : ya

 **SmartSmart** : MEANIE BUTTS

 **MaiMai** : Sry jace but its true

_DumDum changed BumBum’s name to MissPerfect_

**MissPerfect** : awwwwwwwwwww

 **BowBow** : ewew ew ew ewewew ew ew ew

 **BowBow** : Plus we all kno dat magnus is most perfect

 **BananaBane** : ily 2

 **SmartSmart** : To izy-i disagree. To malec-GETA ROOM

 **BowBow** : we r in a rm

 **BowBow** : the living rm

 **BananaBane** : cuddling an watching americas next top model

 **MissPerfect** : I LUV DA SHOW

 **BowBow** : i dont

 **Banana Bane** : but i got da power of puppy eyes

 **BowBow** : u mean when u take off ur glamour an start playing footsie with me when im trying to have lunch

 **BananaBane** : ya but u love da show u jus pretend to hate it so i giv u kisses for watching with me

 **MissPerfect** : *screams*

_DumDum changed BowBow’s name to BowBowSupreme_

**BowBowSupreme** : You’ve GOT to be kidding me

 **SmartSmart** : it suits u

 **BowBowSupreme** : stfu

_DumDum changed SmartSmart’s name to NotSmart_

**BowBowSupreme** : The creativity behind that name...just...it got me a little teary…

 **MissPerfect** : same

 **NotSmart** : IM SMART. I AM SMARTSMART

 **MaiMai** : change mine, NOWNOWNOWNOW I HATE THIS FUCKING NICKNAME ITS HORIIBLE

_DumDum changed MaiMai’s name to Wolfy_

**Wolfy** : I hate u so much

_Wolfy has left the group chat_

**BowBowSupreme** : Y did we let simon be in charge of this

 **BowBowSupreme** : Of all ppl

_DumDum changed DumDum’s name to #3 Malec Shipper bc i hate to admit it but izzy is #1 and magnus just has to be a stubborn butt_

**BowBowSupreme** : wtf

 **BowBowSupreme** : y is no one freaking out about ‘sizzy’ or ‘clace’

 **BowBowSupreme** : y am i the only one being tortured

 **BananaBane** : Wat about me

 **BowBowSupreme** : U like it. Dont even lie. U do

_NotSmart added MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH to the group chat_

_NotSmart changed MAH GIRLFRIEND DONT TOUCH’S name to Pretty_

**Pretty** : hi

 **Pretty** : i killed fucking sebastian

 **Pretty** : The next person to say im an innocent bby will die the same death as him

 **NotSmart** : jeez

 **MissPerfect** : This is y we friends

_#3 Malec Shipper bc i hate to admit it but izzy is #1 and magnus just has to be a stubborn butt added Wolfy to the chat_

**#3 Malec Shipper bc i hate to admit it but izzy is #1 and magnus just has to be a stubborn butt** : if every1 is here we playing truth or dare

 **NotSmart** : wait

_NotSmart changed #3 Malec Shipper bc i hate to admit it but izzy is #1 and magnus just has to be a stubborn butt’s name to #3 Malec Shipper_

**#3 Malec Shipper** : k clary truth or dare

 **Pretty** : DARE. BRING IT OOOOONNNNNN

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : go outside and scream ‘i like cheese’ at the top of your lungs. Have it on video for me to watch when i have a bad day

 **Pretty** : Wow. Ok. Some friend u r

 **Pretty** : done

 **Pretty** : Alec truth or dare

 **BowBowSupreme** : u guys r like the cruelest friends ever. If i say no, u guys will find me later an slit my throat. If i say dare, it’ll be something that’ll kill the average mundane. If i say truth, it’ll be somethig about magnus

 **MissPerfect** : damn he saw right through us

 **BowBowSupreme** : there’s always iratzes but still

 **BowBowSupreme** : fine truth

 **Pretty** : *grins evily*

 **Pretty** : Gimme a sec im gonna make a seperate group chat so we can discuss what the truth will be

 **BowBowSupreme** : WTF

 **Pretty** : i’ll delete it later don worry

 **Pretty** : an yes, magnus will be in it

 **Wolfy** : haha

 **BowBowSupreme** : I HATE U ALL SO MUCH MAGNUS HOW COULD U

 **BowBowSupreme** : i srsly need new friends

 **NotSmart** : we kno

 **BowBowSupreme** : all rite its been fucking 15 mins how is this such a hard thing to agree on

 **MissPerfect** : WE GOT IT

 **Pretty** : sh sh shhhhhhhhhhh im asking the question its my turn

 **MissPerfect** : im rlly sry

 **BowBowSupreme** : to all of u: go die in a hole

 **BowBowSupreme** : cept mags

 **MissPerfect** : *dies*

 **Pretty** : ok so member that time when magnus had a last min appointmet on the other side of the world with a client that he totally forgot about and had to stay there for a few days to finish the job?? An ya know how he was so rushed that he didnt tell anyone??

 **BowBowSupreme** : i dont like where this is going but yes

 **Pretty** : on a scale of one to ten how worried were u?? Like we were all worried but u barely spoke at all. So like 10 being u were ready to tear apart both hell an heaven to find him an 1 being like u thought he could take care of himself jus fine

 **BananaBane** : great now i feel bad

 **BananaBane** : i left my phone im rlly sry alec!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shoulda txted u

 **BowBowSupreme** : …

 **BowBowSupreme** : …

 **BowBowSupreme** : …

 **BowBowSupreme** : …

 **BowBowSupreme** : …

 **BowBowSupreme** : …………11

 **BananaBane** : I am a dick

 **MissPerfect** : i love everything

 **NotSmart** : eveyrhting is love

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : everything is rainbows an unicorns

 **Pretty** : thats all im seeing rite now

 **Wolfy** : im jus seeing da rainbows

 **MissPerfect** : LEAVE

 **BowBowSupreme** : OK. MAGNUS. TRUTH OR DARE.

 **BowBowSupreme** : ik ur gonna pick dare so nvm

 **BowBowSupreme** : come to the institute rite now an kiss me

 **BananaBane** : ON MY FUCKING WAY


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play mafiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAP IS DEDICATED TO MY IDIOT FRIEND RENEE. she's also a butt an reads my other fics WITHOUT MY PERMISSION SO EVERY1 HAS THE RIGHT TO SUE HER IN THE COMMENTS
> 
> happy readdingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
> 
> i wrote this instead of doing my algebra
> 
> its only a matter of time before dad finds out an kills me
> 
> YAY

_Yesterday, Janurary 6th, 2:34 PM_

**BowBowSupreme** : guys help

 **BowBowSupreme** : plz

 **BowBowSupreme** : im an idiot

 **MissPerfect** : tell us something we don know

 **BowBowSupreme** : shut up izy

 **BowBowSupreme** : im serious theres a mundane girl flirting with me an i tried telling her i have a bf

 **BowBowSupreme** : i hate bars an yet i came

 **BowBowSupreme** : the bitch wont listen

 **MissPerfect** : oh ur screwed

 **MissPerfect** : hold on i’m bringing mags over

 **MissPerfect** : GIMME ADRESS

_Yesterday, Janurary 6th, 5:07 PM_

**MissPerfect** : WELP

 **Pretty** : ok spill

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : Wat happend

 **Wolfy** : Did u kick her ass

 **NotSmart** : Dump her into a vampire den??

 **MissPerfect** : Magnus scared the shit out of her

 **MissPerfect** : IT WAS HILARIOUS

 **MissPerfect** : He literally walked right up to alec an kissed him full on the mouth

 **Pretty** : *swoons*

 **MissPerfect** : then he looked the mundane stright in the eye an told her to faq off

 **Wolfy** : BAHAHAHAHA

 **NotSmart** : So possesive

 **NotSmart** : Magnus is stealing my parabati from me

 **NotSmart** : unfair

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : Go back an dump the mundane into the vamp den

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : y not

 **BowBowSupreme** : I hate u all

 **MissPerfect** : U always do

 **Wolfy** : idc

 **MissPerfect** : ya, cuz u a maia

 **Pretty** : SOOOOOOO guys whaddya doing rite now

 **NotSmart** : jus finished solo mission

 **NotSmart** : Bunch of raveners, but now currently hiding from a duck that followedd me out of the park lake an is somewhere near

 **NotSmart** : holding my breath

 **Pretty** : …

 **Pretty** : y r we dating

 **NotSmart** : cuz u laaaaaaaaav meeeeee

 **Pretty** : yes, i luv a FREAKING SHADOWHUNTER who will kill demons but cant face a duck

 **NotSmart** : HOW DO U LOOK THE MONSTER IN THE EYE

 **Pretty** : jesus christ

_Today, January 7th, 11:19 PM_

**#3 Malec Shipper** : I WANNA PLAY MAFIA

 **NotSmart** : how do we do that if we not together

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : i have private chats with each of u

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : so i can jus pick the person there

 **NotSmart** : ok….

 **#3 Malec Shipper** : WAIT IS EVERYONE HERE RITE NOW

 **Pretty** : ya

 **BananaBane** : hi

 **Wolfy** : i hate this name

 **MissPerfect** : YEEEAHHHHH

_BowBowSupreme changed #3 Malec Shipper’s name to Stupid_

**Stupid** : THAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKS

 **Stupid** : im story teller first

 **BowBowSupreme** : kill me

 **Stupid** : i’ll tell the mafia that

 **BowBowSupreme** : NOOO.

 **Stupid** : SLEEPY TIMMEEE

 **Pretty** : *puts head down*

 **NotSmart** : *SNORSSSSSS*

 **Pretty** : *kicks Hippo in the ripcage*

 **NotSmart** : poor izy

 **MissPerfect** : WTH

 **MissPerfect** : NO.

 **MissPerfect** : I WILL KICK UR SRY ASS TO THE GROUND AT TRAINING TMR

 **NotSmart** : noted

 **NotSmart** : I will call in sick

 **MissPerfect** : Clary will make a rune

 **Stupid** : OK EVERYONE WAKY WAKY

 **Wolfy** : nooooo i wanna sleeeeeep

 **BananaBane** : HEY STUPID I NEED TO GET REaDY BEFORE SOMEONE DIES IT TAKES TIME TO LOOK AS FAB AS MEE

 **Stupid** : TOO BAD

 **Stupid** : HEY BLONDIE

 **Stupid** : UR DEAD

 **NotSmart** : excusameeee??

 **Stupid** : Once upon a time

 **Stupid** : Jace was mauled to death by a stray dog when walking home from work. His blood was red

 **Stupid** : An in the meantime, magnus won the lottery an got 10000000000000000$

 **BananaBane** : okie

 **BananaBane** : Thx to whoever saved me

 **BananaBane** : Thank u angel :’)

 **NotSmart** : Alright its pretty obvious maia was mafia say “nay” if u disagree

 **Wolfy** : nay

 **Stupid** : Maia an jace r out

 **MissPerfect** : was it her

 **Stupid** : no

 **Stupid** : congrats, u jus killed an innocent

 **Stupid** : Alrite every1 GO TO SLEEP

 **Stupid** : K so alec an magnus were on a date an all of a sudden a ex-circle member jumped out an tried to stab magnus but alec jumped in the way an killed the circle member but in the process getting himself killed

 **Stupid** : Wow mags u’ve been saved twice in a row

 **Stupid** : alec’s blood was silver

 **Stupid** : good job mafia

 **Stupid** : now until someone votes u out, u get to pick off ppl one by one

 **Pretty** : now im scared

 **NotSmart** : Wait alec u literally jus kept picking magnus over an over

 **MissPerfect** : *dies*

 **BananaBane** : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **BananaBane** : ALEC MY BBY COME BACK TO MEEEEEEE

 **Stupid** :...alritey den who do u think is mafia

 **NotSmart** : izzy ships malec too much to kill one a dem

 **NotSmart** : mags wouldnt kill alec

 **NotSmart** : Clary…

 **BananaBane** : ITS CLARY

 **Pretty** : ITS NOT ME I SWEAR

 **Pretty** : MY BLOOD IS RED

 **Pretty** : STAPH

 **NotSmart** : Im sry

 **MissPerfect** : clary

 **Stupid** : Clary ur dead

 **MissPerfect** : ...and…?

 **Stupid** : and u guys r idiots

 **Stupid** : killed another innocent

 **NotSmart** : WE SO BAD AT THIS

 **BananaBane** : true

 **Stupid** : alright who still alive

 **BananaBane** : me nd izzy

 **BowBowSupreme** : i hate everything

 **BowBowSupreme** : i sacrificed so mach…. Shoulda saved myself

 **Stupid** : OK 1 OF U 2 HAS BLACK BLOOD

 **Stupid** : GO TO SLEEP

 **Stupid** : im not revealing the blood type in nxt rnd

 **BowBowSupreme** : but it gona be obvious

 **BowBowSupreme** : person who lives is the mafia

 **MissPerfect** : its magnus

 **NotSmart** : No way

 **Pretty** : He wouldnt kill his own bf

 **MissPerfect** : ITS MAGS I SWEAR

 **Stupid** : not gonna be obvious

 **Stupid** : mafia could kill themself

 **NotSmart** : oh ya

 **NotSmart** : but we all know its izy

 **MissPerfect** : ITS NOT

 **Stupid** : GO TO SLEEP

 **Stupid** : izy is dead

 **Stupid** : she fell in a hole

 **MissPerfect** : WOW.

 **Stupid** : i will mis u

 **Pretty** : Didnt think u would kill urself but ok

 **MissPerfect** : ITS NOT ME

 **BananaBane** : whoever thinks its me say “aye”

 **MissPerfect** : AYE

 **Stupid** : K

 **Stupid** : sadly, izzy’s blood was red

 **NotSmart** : WHAT

 **Pretty** : NO

 **BananaBane** : Mafia wins hehe

 **BowBowSupreme** : we r having a long an serious talk when we get home magnus

 **BananaBane** : u stole my blanket in the middle of the night

 **BananaBane** : i was cold but u looked so cute

 **BowBowSupreme** : JUS MAGIC NEW ONES

 **BananaBane** : i was tired

 **BowBowSupreme** : So i have to pay fer ur laziness

 **BananaBane** : Basically ya

 **BowBowSupreme** : im coming to kill u

 **BowBowSupreme** : Jace!!!!!!!!!! cover for meeee

 **NotSmart** : Yes sr

 **BowBowSupreme** : MAGS IM COMING TO KILL U

 **BananaBane** : Ur jus gonna come in an watch tv but deny me kisses

 **BananaBane** : And deny me a spot on the sofa

 **BananaBane** : Izzy ur brother is cruel

 **Stupid** : any1 up for round 2??

 **Stupid** : hello???????

 **Stupid** : ok


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an this chap is dedicated to jackie for not leaving me an renee's group chat bc u, my friend, r a saint
> 
> srsly guys there was one time she put up with 913 notifications
> 
> I LAV UUUUUUUUUUUUUU JACKIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**MissPerfect** : Guys guys guys

 **Stupid** : ??

 **NotSmart** : Wat do u want

 **Miss Perfect** : RUUUUUUUDEE

 **Stupid** : ahhhhh sibling luv

 **BowBowSupreme** : U call that love?!?!?!??!?!?!

 **BowBowSupreme** : The nickname rlly suits u

 **Stupid** : HEY

 **NotSmart** : OH MY GOD

 **NotSmart** : sHIT

 **NotSmart** : SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHITTTTTT

 **MissPerfect** : I think i know wats going on

 **NotSmart** : cRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAAAAPPDHBHFDWYGDVHJQHWGYEVFBHQIYWGDV

 **NotSmart** : THERE IS A DUCK IN MY ROOM

 **NotSmart** : Y IS THERE A DUCK IN MY ROOM

 **NotSmart** : SHIT

 **MissPerfect** : Ur the 1 who threw up in my fav heels last nite

 **MissPerfect** : But no. U HAD TO GET DRUNK AN THINK OH WOW NICE SHOES IZY MIND IF I USE DEM AS A BARF BAG??!?!?!

 **BowBowSupreme** : I love u so much rite now izzy

 **BowBowSupreme** : Like so much

 **NotSmart** : I WILL KILL U ALL

 **NotSmart** : Clary im counting on u pls save me

 **Pretty** : No this is hilarious

_MissPerfect changed the group name to IIToD has Returned_

_BowBowSupreme changed NotSmart’s name to IIToD Supreme_

**IIToD Supreme** : AND U CALL THIS SIBLING LOVE

 **IIToD Supreme** : THIS IS LITERALLY JUS ME BEING BULLIED

_BowBowSupreme changed BowBowSupreme’s name to DeadlyArrowhead_

**MissPerfect** : NAHHHHHHHHH ur jus a cinamin roll

_MissPerfect changed DeadlyArrowhead’s name to CuteLittleCinomenRoll_

**CuteLittleCinomenRoll** : Ok NO. I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

_CuteLittleCinomenRoll changed CuteLittleCinomenRoll’s name to DeathMachine_

**DeathMachine** : GO BULLY JACE.

 **DeathMachine** : THIS IS MY NAME.

 **DeathMachine** : THIS IS MY DESTINY

 **MissPerfect** : Haha no

_MissPerfect changed DeathMachine’s name to CuddleDispenser_

**BananaBane** : That is 100% true

 **CuddleDispenser** : MAGNUS STAPH

 **CuddleDispenser** : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **BananaBane** : Keep the name

 **CuddleDispenser** : ok

_CuddleDispenser changed MissPerfect’s name to MissIdiot_

**MissIdiot** : HOW DARE UUUUU

_MissIdiot changed MissIdiot’s name to MissAmazing_

**Stupid** : Honestly at this point im jus watching to see wat happens

 **Pretty** : Same this is wildly entertaining

 **Wolfy** : Me toooooo

 **BananaBane** : Ha we all rrrrrrrrrrr

 **IIToD Supreme** : betrayal

 **MissAmazing** : We make a great family tv show but still

_CuddleDispenser changed MissAmazing’s name to MissAnnoying_

**IIToD Supreme** : yes

 **MissAnnoying** : I AM NOT ANNOYING

 **CuddleDispenser** : Bfore i met magnus it was all “GET TOGETHET WITH THIS GUY” “U AN HIM WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING COUPLE” “OMG THAT GUY OVER THER IS HAWT GO ASK HIM OUT” and then it was all “MAGNUS. ALEC. KISS. U MET AT A PARTY YAAYYYYYY NOW UR OFFICIALLY MARRIED. OMG HE SAID TO CALL U CALL HIM CALL HIM CALL HIM HES PRACTICALLY PROPOSING OMG OMG. OMG THEY A COUPLE NOW ALLLL THANNNKS TO MEEEEEEEE YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY I LOVE MY LIFE I LOVE EVERYTHING MALEC FOREVERRRRR”

 **MissAnnoying** : ...it worked out in the end and now ur happier than ever dont lie to me

 **MissAnnoying** : It wouldn’t have happened without meeeeee

 **CuddleDispenser** : ya ur da 1 who threatened to nevr talk to me again if i didnt call him

_CuddleDispenser changed MissAnnoying’s name to MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson_

**MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : ily too big bro

 **Stupid** : C?!?!?!!??? SIBLING LUV

 **IIToD Supreme** : i hate u all

 **IIToD Supreme** : The duck is gone

 **IIToD Supreme** : I found my seraph blades and vanquished the creature back to watever dimension of hell it came from

 **Pretty** : U STABBED AN INNOCENT DUCK?!?!?!?!??!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?

 **IIToD Supreme** : wat no i knew u would break up with me so i managed to bravly shoo the thing outside

 **Pretty** : …?...

 **IIToD Supreme** : ...along with 6 fearless runes

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : u idiot

 **Stupid** : SIBLING LAV

 **CuddleDispenser** : ur insane

 **BananaBane** : BUT IM AMAZING, RITE? IM FAABULOUSSS

 **CuddleDispenser** : yes

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : i see rainbows an sunshine

 **CuddleDispenser** : stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is outragously short IM SOOWWWIE
> 
> but honestly i jus write these to make my self feel better when my brain goes like 'EP 18. MALEC BREAKUP.'
> 
> im still dead


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY LOVLIESSSS
> 
> IM BACK WIT ANODER CHAPTERRRRR
> 
> ENJOYYYYYYY

**Pretty** : I love love

 **Stupid** : SAMMMEEEEEEE

 **CuddleDispenser** : ??

 **Pretty** : Whaddya mean ‘??’

 **CuddleDispenser** : I have no idea wat ur talking about

 **Pretty** : O my god

 **Stupid** : U know magnus is in the chat, rite??

 **CuddleDispenser** : ...so wat

 **Pretty** : ITS VALENTINES DAY U IDIOT

 **CuddleDispenser** : sHIT

 **BananaBane** : So, Alexander, u better hav an explanation ready

 **Pretty** : C u in heaven

 **Stupid** : WHERE THE TREES GROW A DIFERENT FRUIT EVRY MONTH

 **Stupid** : I CANT WAIT

 **Stupid** : LUCKY ALEC!! HE GETS TO DIE EARLIERER

 **CuddleDispenser** : Not helping

 **Stupid** : Of course not. Im a simon

 **Pretty** : tru

 **BananaBane** : So alec….

 **CuddleDispenser** : Look behind u

 **Pretty** : HELLOOOOOOO??!?!?!!?!?!

 **Stupid** : r dey both dead??

 **Pretty** : it’s been 15 min

 **Pretty** : Imma go listen to sum music

 **Stupid** : WAT HAPPENED

 **Pretty** : TELLLLLLL

_Stupid changed Pretty’s name to once thought was hot but was kinda just there_

**once thought was hot but was kinda just there** : WOW.

_once thought was hot but was kinda just there changed once thought was hot but was kinda just there to RedHOT_

**RedHOT** : More suitable dan ‘pretty’

_Stupid changed RedHOT’s name to RedHot-Head_

**RedHot-Head** : I put up with all those band rehersals an this is wat i get

 **Stupid** : riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite

_Stupid changed RedHot-Head’s name to UnwiseLady_

**UnwiseLady** : ??

_Stupid changed Stupid’s name to Less”Desirable”ThanJace_

**UnwiseLady** : I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THAT

 **Less”Desirable”ThanJace** : no

 **Less”Desirable”ThanJace** : Ok wat is going on in the lightwood-bane residence

_UnwiseLady changed Less”Desirable”ThanJace’s name to GrudgeHolder_

**GrudgeHolder** : mmmmmmmmmmmmrgghhhhhhhhghgh

 **BananaBane** : Apparently alec was trying to convince me he forgot valentines day so he could surprise me even mur

 **BananaBane** : My angel is evil

 **BananaBane** : So in return for scaring me like that i magicked his phone into not letting him change his name for this gc

 **BananaBane** : He is now forever “CuddleDispenser”

 **BananaBane** : Suits him

 **BananaBane** : I also stole his phone and hid it somewhere in the south pole

 **BananaBane** : He’ll get it back in a week

 **GrudgeHolder** : WHAT WAS THE SURPRISE

 **UnwiseLady** : SPILL

 **BananaBane** : He had a whole table full of my fav foods with recipes from around the world an apparently he hand cooked them and also there was a scrapbook filled with pics of the two of us together that i dont even remember were taken

 **UnwiseLady** : *SWOONS*

 **BananaBane** : and the best part

 **GrudgeHolder** : WHATTTT

 **BananaBane** : There was a little keychain with two pennies

 **BananaBane** : one was made on the date an yr that we met

 **BananaBane** : the other was completly blank except for the word ‘lucky’ engraved on one side

 **BananaBane** : We may or may not have spent the last 15 mins making out

 **BananaBane** : Alec is rlly mad at me fer telling u dis

 **BananaBane** : ItS OK THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT EVENTUALLY RIGHT GUYS

 **BananaBane** : hi this is alec an no i can keep a secret an also MAGNUS U SUCK

 **BananaBane** : I do not suck

 **BananaBane** : I am fucking fabulous

 **UnwiseLady** : so modest

 **GrudgeHolder** : SOOOOOOO ROOOOMANNNNTIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCC

 **BananaBane** : I hate u all

 **BananaBane** : Go to hell and die

 **UnwiseLady** : Pretty sure that was alec

_Today, March 1st, 10:37 PM_

**Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : ok why is my name like this i will kill whoever changed it

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : also

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : JACE IS NOW MY FIANCE!!!!!!!

_MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson changed the group name to CLACE IS NOW MARRIED_

**MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : Jace finally got the nerve to propose

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : haha simon proposed first out of all of us he da bravest

 **IIToD Supreme** : heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **GrudgeHolder** : YAY

_MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson changed GrudgeHolder’s name to Bravey_

_Bravey changed Bravey’s name to Gravey_

**MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : …

 **Gravey** : heheheeeeeee

 **BananaBane** : Alec says he wanna be best man

 **BananaBane** : I WANNA PLAN EVERYTHING

 **BananaBane** : An i’ll run everything by u guys ITS GONNA BE FABBBBBBBB

 **BananaBane** : Clary doesn’t get to plan anything

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : WHY??!?!?!?!?!

 **BananaBane** : I gave u one job last time for me an alecs wedding

 **BananaBane** : literally one job

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Ya ik u told me to find flowers the exact shade of alecs eyes

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : U HAVE NO IDEA HOW RARE A COLOR THAT IS I LOOKED EVERYWHERE THE SHADE OF BLUE I GOT WAS CLOSE ENOUGH

 **BananaBane** : NOT CLOSE ENOUGH

 **BananaBane** : hi clary this is alec and the flowers were perfect thank u very much dont listen to a thing magnus says

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : awwwwwww

 **BananaBane** : I STILL HAVE NOT TOTALLY FORGOTTEN, DEMON SPAWN

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : I HAVE PURE ANGEL BLOOD COURSING THOUGH MY VEINS

 **BananaBane** : AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT

 **BananaBane** : AND DONT FORGET IM THE HIGH WARLOCK I CAN DESTORY U WITH A FLICK OF ME WRIST

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : yes sir

 **IIToD Supreme** : Dont threaten my future wife

 **BananaBane** : TO BAD

 **Gravey** : I am gravey

 **IIToD Supreme** : wtf

 **Gravey** : groovey gravey

_Today, March 1st, 11:56_

**Gravey** : i wanna play a game

 **IIToD Supreme** : We’ve already played mafia an truth or dare

 **Gravey** : Wait i have a idea!!!!!!! Is evry1 free tmr

 **Wolfy** : yeah, y

 **BananaBane** : No clients

 **BananaBane** : Alec says he’ll follow me wherever

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : AWWWW an yes im free

 **IIToD Supreme** : im all good

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : IM FREE

 **Gravey** : LETS ALL MEET AT A BEACH OR SOMETHIN

 **Gravey** : WE CAN HANG OUTTT

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Thats great!! Lets use the pond at luke’s

 **Gravey** : EVERY1 BRING UR BATHING SUITS

 **BananaBane** : alecs blushing

 **BananaBane** : lol i wonder y

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : He’s jus extremely excited to see u shirtless

 **BananaBane** : Ik ;)

 **BananaBane** : I HATE U ALL

(A/N ok so from here on out im gonna be doing a thing where i alternate between txting and actual narrating :D its jus something i want to try out, but if u prefer me to stick to just txting, let me know in the comments and i’ll stop)

…

“Guys,” Jace called from where he was brutally splashing Clary, “Get into the water, I have an idea!”

Alec groaned, detangling himself from Magnus and flattening the towel, “C’mon, Mags.”

Izzy and Simon were already wading in, hand in hand, Bat and Maia following lazily behind.

Once they were all waist deep in the water, Jace grinned. It was the ‘this is gonna be stupid but fun’ shit-eating grin. “Magnus, Clary, Simon, and Bat are on one team, me, Alec, Maia, and Izzy on the other. You try to push your opponent underwater, and they have to go all the way down, as in shoulders, head and all. If you get beaten, sit out and wait for the game to end. No helping. The first team to get everyone down wins.”

Izzy crossed her arms, but had the same stupid smile plastered onto her (rarely) make-up free face, “What do we get out of it?”

“Bragging rights.”

“I’m in,” said just about everyone except Alec, who just blinked in confusion.

“...Okay?”

“NOW GO HUDDLE, WE GET TO MAKE PLANS.”

Once out of earshot, “I’m going for Magnus,” Alec said immediately. “And no magic, runes, or turning,” he called over his shoulder.

“GOT IT!”

“Clary is mine,” Jace smirked at the red-head, who glared at him.

Maia rolled her eyes, “Well, it’s becoming apparent that we’re all gonna go for our boyfriend or girlfriend, so let’s just leave it at that. If you’ve beaten your partner, help someone else. And try not to die.”

Izzy put a hand over her heart dramatically, “Really? I’ll try my best!”

Maia shoved the other girl into the water in response, leaving Iz sputtering and splashing her playfully.

“Are you guys done?” Jace yelled.

“Yeah, you?”

“Yes. Ready? Set? GO!”

Alec made a beeline for Magnus, who apparently had chosen Jace to go after. Clary jumped onto his back, trying to get him to sink.

Alec let out a gasp, falling to his knees, as Clary had the advantage of surprise. But he quickly recovered, shoving her off and pushing her shoulders under. The shorter girl yelped angrily, but sank under the ripples.

Alec laughed, “I win,” he said when Clary resurfaced, furious.

“Go to hell,” she spat, but there was no real heat behind the words.

Alec’s triumph was short lived, however, when he saw Jace’s legs give away, disappearing while Magnus let out a happy whoop of victory. To his dismay, Simon and Bat had both managed to win their battles, and Magnus was slowly wading towards him, the grin on his face seeming to say ‘ _I win’_. But maybe he could tie the game…

Alec sighed dramatically, stepping forward to meet his boyfriend, “I suppose I lose. Because you’re a dirty cheater and will use magic on me. I can’t win,” he buried his face in the crook of Magnus’s neck, earning a soft chuckle. “I think I should get a prize for surrendering so easily. Don’t you?”

Magnus grabbed Alec’s thighs and hoisted the teen up against him, touching their foreheads together, “Yes.”

“No!” Simon whined somewhere off in the distance. It really didn’t matter, “MAGNUS. Don’t make out with him, push him under!”

“Shut up, Sherwin,” Magnus called softly before leaning up to kiss Alec. But instead of sealing the other’s waiting lips with his own, as much as he wanted to, Alec jerked back and slammed his hands down onto Magnus’s shoulders. Hard.

The warlocks eyes widened in betrayal and shock, but it was too late to regain his balance and he toppled over.

Simon, Bat, and Clary were groaning at their weak willed teammate and complaining.

Magnus came up, spitting lake water out of his mouth and glaring at his boyfriend, “You-you son of a bitch!”

Alec laughed, unable to control himself, “Oh, come on, you didn’t see that coming?”

“No! What happened to my sweet and innocent Alexander? My angel has been replaced with a demon!”

"Shut up, Magnus.”

“Let’s go for round two,” Jace shouted.

“Ok,” Alec pecked Magnus’s cheek playfully, winking when he got a glare in return. He made his way back to his group, and they decided to stick to their previous plan.

“Ready, set, GO!” This time, the couples seemed to go for one another. Except Magnus didn’t tackle Alec like he expected. Instead, he started running his fingers over Alec’s stomach and waist, digging his fingers into certain spots and brushing over others.

“H-hey, MAGNUS! S-Sto-STOP!” Alec shied away from the playful touches, but it did absolutely nothing. Magnus relentlessly and mercilessly tickled him until the shorter boy could no longer breathe and had no choice but to let the water swallow him.

When he came back up, Magnus was smiling at him innocently.

But this time, Izzy, Maia, and Jace had managed to take down their opponents and were all laughing, celebrating their victory.

Magnus paled when he realized that his team had lost, and Alec pecked his lips, smiling in triumph as he made his way back to the team. He didn’t notice the thin strings of blue magic slowly flowing from Magnus’s fingertips, not until a huge wave-way to big to be natural-crashed on top of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my dad is beginning to moniter my writings, which means no more swear words :(
> 
> IM SRYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> personally i ship jaia more, but since jordan died :'( bat and maia will have to do


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not that much txting, im sowwieeeeeee

(A/N Incase you're one of those people who don't bother reading the notes, by the way, dad is starting to monitor whatever the fuck I'm going on my laptop so that means no more swear words or gay kisses. :( But DON WORRYYYYYY i manage to sneak in some here an there when he's not at home...like right now)

Magnus and Alec were cuddling on the couch with Maia on the other side, while Clary and Jace laid on the floor together. Simon had plopped right next to the foot of the love seat that Izzy had draped herself over, staring at everyone with an expression of boredom, but if you looked closely you could see the excited spark in her eyes.

“I wanna play spin the bottle,” Izzy said after the third Marvel movie ended. The popcorn bowls and soda cans were scattered across the floorboards of Magnus’s loft, long ago emptied.

Alec blushed and stuttered as the credits began to roll, “No. Definitely not.”

Izzy smirked, “If I get you or you get me, we can spin again, because no matter how good looking you are, big brother, I am not into incest.”

Alec sighed from his spot in Magnus’s lap, “Fine.”

Jace grinned, nudging Clary who blinked sleepily in his arms, “We’re in.”

Simon and Maia both nodded while Magnus gently lifted Alec off himself to go get a bottle, despite the boy's protests. He climbed right back into his boyfriend's lap the second Magnus returned with the wine bottle, and glared ferociously when he heard Clary's giggles.

"I'll go first," Magnus placed the bottle on the floor and spun. It landed on Jace, who gave him an exaggerated horrified look, but eventually pecked the other's lips lightly, falling backwards and making retching sounds the second he pulled back. "Oh, stop it, Herondale. You're just jealous of Alec, who gets to kiss me everyday. I am fabulous, after all."

Jace rolled his eyes and scooted back over to Clary. She leaned forward and flicked the bottle, and it landed on Alec. Who actually looked horrified. 

"I'm gay," he squeaked.

"Nah, you just hated her the moment she stepped into the Institute, but you guys are friends now, so you can kiss. And make it a hot an' steamy one," Jace winked obnoxiously.

Clary ignored them both, and stood up, walking over to the couch and flinging herself on it. Then she grabbed Alec's chin and pressed a long and awkward kiss to his mouth. When Clary pulled back, her smile was triumphant and she sneered at Jace, "Hot and steamy enough for you? IIToD Supreme?"

"Hey," Jace whined. Izzy doubled over, unable to contain her giggles, as did Maia, who slumped over and rolled off the sofa. "By the Angel, you two, it was only six runes!"

This time Simon, Alec, and Magnus joined in, laughing hysterically. 

Izzy jumped off her love seat when she finally recovered, poking the bottle lightly so it landed on Simon.

"Seriously?" Maia raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything when Izzy hooked her arms around Simon's neck and attacked his lips fiercely.

"While those two are making out," Jace tossed the bottle at Maia who caught it, laughed, and spun. Magnus leaned over the couch, squishing a complaining Alec quite a bit, and pulled Maia over. 

Alec wiggled out from underneath them and groaned. He whacked the bottle hard, as if it had personally offended him, and scowled when it landed on Magnus. Everyone knew he was delighted, although Magnus was the only one that showed it. He slid off the sofa, landed on Alec rather ungracefully, and crashed their lips together, earning a squeal from Isabelle as she pulled away from Simon just in time to witness the two pressed against each other, neither seeming to have plans to let go any time soon. 

Alec giggled audibly, and pulled Magnus back down again, evoking a groan from everyone in the room. 

"Get a room," Jace screamed like his eyes were burning out. It seemed like they were.

Both of the two, in perfect synchronization, gave him the middle finger, not even bothering to break the kiss. 

Jace stared at them, incredulously, but finally shrugged and spun the bottle, which landed on Izzy. 

She winced, "I guess it's not...technically...incest." Jace sighed and nodded, pecking her lips lightly and then jerking back, coughing and wiping his mouth over and over on his sleeve. 

"Drama queen," Clary muttered leaning forward when she landed her boyfriend, "Stupid immature idiot who's afraid of  _ducks_."

"Hey, no need to be rude," Jace chuckled, before capturing her lips with his own.

When they pulled apart, Magnus and Alec had disappeared, "Where'd they go?"

Maia snorted, while Izzy and Simon broke off into fits of laughter, "Bedroom."

...

_Gravey changed the group name to 'Malec Needs to be Shunned After Ditching Us in a Game of Spin the Bottle'_

**BananaBane:** HEY

 **BananaBane** : It's true

 **BananaBane** : ITS NOT

 **BananaBane** : AND I NEED MY PHONE

 **BananaBane** : He doesnt

 **BananaBane:** SHUT UP MAGUUS

 **BananaBane** : no

 **Gravey** : This is wildly entertainng to watch 

 **MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson** : but kinda weird

 **Gravey** : true

 **BananaBane** : DIE.

 **Wolfy** : i hate this name

 **Gravey** : we know

 **Gravey** : u've only told us a couple thousand times

_Wolfy changed Wolfy's name to Badass_

**Badass** : I WILL SLIT UR THROAT

_Gravey changed MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson's name to MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson Supreme_

**BananaBane** : the 'supreme' is getting old

 **Gravey** : tru

_Gravey changed MissAnnoyingButGoodPerson Supreme's name to DaBestest_

**DaBestest** : Awwwwww ily 2 simonnnnn

 **BananaBane** : wtf thats not even a word

 **BananaBane** : CUTEEEEE

 **Badass** : I'm having the time of my life decipering which txts r magnus and which r alec

 **Gravey** : haha same

 **BananaBane** : GO TO HELL

 **BananaBane** : How is it??

 **DaBestest** : Its so hard to tell who's who i dont kno how u 2 manage

 **BananaBane** : ikr

 **BananaBane** : IS THAT SARCASM

 **BananaBane** : ALL OF U NEED T GO DIE

 **BananaBane** : LIKE RITE NOW

 **Gravey** : *gasp* i think...i think i know who maybe sent those last 3 txts

 **Badass** : WOW REALLY

 **BananaBane** : AND GUESS WAT. IM NOT IMPRESSED

 **Badass** : must be magnus 

 **BananaBane** : u guys r so smart

 **BananaBane** : U IDIOTS

 **BananaBane** : HOW R U GUYS NOT DEAD

 **BananaBane** : WIT BRAINS LIKE URS

 **Badass** : now who is that...

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff happens
> 
>  
> 
> ik, im so good at summaries

**CuddleDispenser** : I HAVE MAH PHONE BACK

 **CuddleDispenser** : Now some1 pls pls plzzzz change my name

 **Badass** : noo

 **DaBestest** : haha no way

 **BananaBane** : Even if they wanted to, they cant. Da only person who can do it is meeeeeee

 **CuddleDispenser** : I hate everything

_IIToD Supreme changed IIToD Supreme's name to SharpObject_

**DaBestest** : um

 **DaBestest** : ok?

 **SharpObject** : *bows*

 **CuddleDispenser** : Go to hat

 **CuddleDispenser** : hat*

 **CuddleDispenser** : hat*

 **CuddleDispenser** : hat**

 **CuddleDispenser** : hat*****

 **CuddleDispenser** : MAGNUS WHAT DID U DO TO MY PHONE

 **BananaBane** : bad wordsssssss

 **CuddleDispenser** : fun u

 **CuddleDispenser** : *fun

 **CuddleDispenser** : **fun

 **CuddleDispenser** : f u c k*********

 **CuddleDispenser** : THERE WE GO

 **BananaBane** : bad boy

 **BananaBane** : No dinner tonite

 ** **CuddleDispenser**** : Haaaa we both kno dat not gonna happen i can do puppy eyes 2

 **Badass** : This is disgustingly cute

 **SharpObject** : tru

 **DaBestest** : SUNSHINE LOLLYPOPS AN RAINBOWS EVERYWHEREEE

 **CuddleDispenser** : I AM DEATHMACHINE

 **DaBestest** : Member dat time in paris where u guys portaled to dis restraunt an we were having a quadruple date an u decided u needed to hold da door fer every1 and magnus just pushed u up against the wall an u 2 started making out an the waiter said if u didnt stop they would have to ask u to leave??

 **CuddleDispenser** : No, dat no tru

 **BananaBane** : He's lying

 **CuddleDispenser** : NO IM NOT

 **BananaBane** : Ur cheeks get all red when u lie

 **BananaBane** : 1 of the things that makes u so adorable

 **CuddleDispenser** : Im not adorable

 **DaBestBest** : AHEM ALLOW ME

 **BananaBane** : i am his husband

 **DaBestest** : OK FINE U EXPLAIN

 **CuddleDispenser** : Y IS THIS SOMETHING U TWO HAVE TO FIGHT OVER EXPLAINIGN

 **Badass** : BAAHAHAHHHAAAAAHAHAH

 **SharpObject** : haaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **CuddleDispenser** : shut up u 2

 **BananaBane** : aww his cheeks r getting red

 **CuddleDispenser** : MAGNUS

...

Magnus poked Alec's cheek playfully, earning a light slap, "Stop, Magnus, I'm trying to watch the movie!"

Magnus only laughed, "No, you're not. We're going on a date afterwords, and you're soooooooo excited."

"I will cancel our registration if you don't behave," Alec deadpanned, moving a little further away from his boyfriend.

"Does tickling count as behaving?" 

"My team won that game, so I don't you have the rights to be cocky about it!"

"Oh, really? You were the only one on your team that lost that round."

"Shut up," Alec got up from his spot on the sofa, "I'm going to get some more popcorn."

It was then that Chairman Meow decided to jump onto the warlock's lap, mewling and begging to be pet.

Magnus chuckled and started to stroke the silky furs of his cat's back, until he heard a scream, followed by a small explosion. And it wasn't a scream of delight, one let out on a scary roller coaster ride. It was one you couldn't hold back, one you used when you thought you were about to die. 

He turned around, alarmed, to see his kitchen on fire. 

Alec scrambled out, panting hard and collapsing on the couch, "S-sorry."

"What happened?!"

"Uh-um, it's, ah, dead now. Probably." Alec's face lit up a impossible shade of crimson, "I grabbed a ball or something, I think it was for a client, and threw it at the thing. I didn't know it would blow up..." 

Magnus sighed, "It's alright," he snapped his fingers, making the fire disappear in an instant, "Now, are you going to tell me what it was?"

"Uh, it was... it was a spider," The last few words were barely a whisper.

Magnus tried not to break. He really tried. But their eyes met, and he burst out laughing, like a broken dam.

"It's not that funny!" Alec protested, irritated.

"Only you, my dear," Magnus gasped out, "Would risk burning the whole building down just to kill a spider."

"It's  _not_ funny," But Alec was smiling now, starting to realize the ridiculousness of the situation. "Okay, maybe I overreacted just a little."

"Sure. Just a little bit. Let's go with that."

...

"Jace!" Clary stabbed another demon in the gut. There was only three more, and Jace was talking care of the first two while the other advanced in her direction. She raised her seraph blade, ready to kill the thing when something caught her eye. A cockroach.

Clary screamed, getting the attention of her boyfriend who had just finished his demons off. The third one made an odd growling sound, smiling. But Clary paid no attention. Her only focus was the little bug in front of her, scuttling around like he wasn't in the path of a freaking Ravener. She hated the things, with their beady eyes and capability to survive almost any natural disaster. It was unbelievably unfair. 

The demon in front of her screeched happily, and taking advantage of her distraction, pounced. But before anything bad happened, Jace appeared out of nowhere and stabbed the thing in the back. Then, he dropped his seraph blade and shook Clary's shoulders, "What the hell! You could have been killed, and all for a cockroach!"

Clary dragged her eyes from the bug to the boy in front of her, "You're the one who would wish for the banishment of all waterfowl if you managed to summon Raziel."

Jace winced, "Okay, but at least I wouldn't abandon a fight just to stare at those things!"

Clary raised an eyebrow and Jace groaned, "Jeez, Fairchild. There's not going to be a stray duck in a dark alley. Bugs, however... it's just something you need to get used to. Quickly, or the next thing you know there's gonna be claws in your neck."

Clary sighed, "I know, but still..."

"Are you guys okay?!" Izzy jogged over to the place they were at, followed by Simon, "Sorry, we got separated. Came to find you as soon as-"

Izzy was cut off by Simon's loud shriek. Clary giggled and poked Jace in the shoulder, "See? He's scared of the nasty little things too!"

Isabelle rolled her eyes, whipping the cockroach and face-palming when Simon and Clary both let out loud sighs of relief.

"You guys are hopeless," Jace grabbed Clary's hand, along with his dropped sword, and led her out of the alley, "We're going to this restaurant around the corner. Just opened. You guys wanna come?"

Izzy nodded enthusiastically, "I'm starving!"

They all burst out laughing when another duck followed Jace when walking through Central Park, "Why do they like me so much? Go after Izzy! She's not as pretty, but she'll do, right?"

"WHAT?!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know, this work isn't complete, but its marked as complete bc i jus really dont feel like changing it :)
> 
>  
> 
> plus school is starting soon, so idk how much i'll update, but if a chapter is the last one, i'll let u guys know in the notes
> 
> THIS WORK IS NEARING 4000 HITS THANK U GUYS SO SO SO SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE U ALLLLLLLLL
> 
> is anyone else super super super super super super super relieved about the season 2 finale????????!!!! like i was so scared they werent gonna make up but now i know they fine and my life is complete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im losing it, but i kinda already lost it a while ago


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI IM BACKKKKKKK
> 
> i just realized i didnt put a disclaimer in here until now, so, I don't own anything except the sort-of-plot, although i wish i did!! Everything belongs to Cassandra Clare

**BananaBane** : Guys guess wat

 **CuddleDispenser** : Pls magnus

 **CuddleDispenser** : plsssssss

 **BananaBane** : Haha nope

 **BananaBane** : So today

 **Gravey** : I am on the edge of my seat

 **DaBestest** : So am i

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Im here tooooooooooo

 **CuddleDispenser** : Go to hat and die

 **CuddleDispenser** : *hat

 **CuddleDispenser** : MAGNUS Y

 **BananaBane** : I am one wit da banana

 **CuddleDispenser** : Yas, an bananas r dumb food

 **CuddleDispenser** : I lav bananas

 **BananaBane** : ily 2

 **DaBestest** : I have that screenshotted to blackmail u later

 **CuddleDispenser** : Fun u

 **BananaBane** : AS THE GREATEST FOOD ON EARTH WAS SAYINGGGGGGGGGG

 **SharpObject** : Ya ya ya ya?? WAAAAT

 **Badass** : Dont forget meeee

 **Badass** : Dont start without meeeeeeeee

 **BananaBane** : OK

 **BananaBane** : So dere waz a sppider

 **Badass** : Oh ya alec didnt u say u were scared of spiders back when we were testing out the fearles rune?????

_CuddleDispenser has left the group chat_

**BananaBane** : Ok now theres nothing holdin me backkkkk

 **BananaBane** : He went to de kitchn to get mur popcorn an den i heard this loud 'oh my god WHYYYYYYY' scream 

 **DaBestest** : I love where this is going

 ** **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee**** : LOLLOLOLOLOLLLLOLOLOLOLOL

 **BananaBane** : No thats not even the funny part

 **SharpObject** : HOW

 **Badass** : Wat? Did he flood the loft trying to drown the thing??

 **BananaBane** : actually, da complete opposite

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : so he used fire to warm the thing an make it comfortable

 **BananaBane** : WAT NO

 **DaBestest** : Im confused

 **Gravey** : JUST KEEP GOING

 **BananaBane** : So this rlly lazy client wanted a kinda enternal fire thingy thats all rainbow an stuff so i put the chemicals in a metal call an left it on the counter

 **BananaBane** : Apparently alec thought it was basically harmless so he threw the thing at the spider and set the whole kitchen on fire

 **BananaBane** : He got a couple of burns, but otherwise nothing serious

 **BananaBane** : Cant say the same about the poor spider

 **DaBestest** : I'm never letting alec off the hook for this 

 **SharpObject** : Neither am i, the TEASING WILL NEVAH STAPH

 **Badass** : wow

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Simon is on the floor laughing tears out of his eyes

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : His phone fell somewhere under the bed

 **SharpObject** : Wait u guys r together

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : when r we not

 **SharpObject** : Gud point

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Awwwwwwwww jealousssss

 **SharpObject** : no

 **DaBestest** : We were trainin before this an jace's face is getting all red

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : AHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the compitition is rising

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : but don worry i only have eyes fer u

 **DaBestest** : AWWWWWWWW

 **SharpObject** : shaddup izy

 **Gravey** : Ok guys im back

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : He's still shaking

 **Gravey** : clary stop

 **Gravey** : pls

 **Gravey** : WAIT I HAVE AN IDEA

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : u always do

 **Gravey** : let's all play truth or dare

 **Gravey** : after the storm last nite the institute kinda has no power so we can all play in the library IT'LL BE SCARRRYYYY

 **SharpObject** : first of all, we already played, second, there's always witchlights, which is whats lighting up the whole building

 **Gravey** : Oh cmon last game was pretty pathetic we only had like three qustions

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : I WANNA PLAY

 **BananaBane** : i will drag alec along bc the last game rlly was kinda pathetic

 **Gravey** : izy.... plsssss

 **DaBestest** : Fine, but only bc u'll find me an do da puppy eyes n den kiss me an then i'l hv to do it

 **SharpObject** : I hate the idea but i follow clary

 **Badass** : i think i can run over

 **Badass** : but its so coooooollllllldddddd

 **Gravey** : ur a werewolf, u'l manage

...

"So if you refuse a dare or question, you have to take a piece of clothing off. First one naked loses," Jace said, slinging an arm around Clary's shoulders.

She pulled away, looking horrified, "No one is getting naked!"

"Fine, first one in their underwear."

Maia rolled her eyes, "It won't be me."

"We'll see about that," Magnus smirked from his spot next to Alec. The two were curled up in an overstuffed armchair, with Alec's head tucked under Magnus's chin. 

Everyone had taken the pillows and cushions off the couches and chairs, making a short of nest on the floor where the seven (discluding Magnus and Alec) were sprawled across. 

"I'm going first," Izzy announced, standing up, "Alec! Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Alec grimaced nervously.

"I get to put makeup on you."

Alec tugged at his sweater, like he debating whether or not to just let her do it.

"I'll let you wipe it off once I get a picture and everyone sees," Isabelle stepped forward and grabbed her brother's hand dragging him off to her bedroom. He sighed, shooting a look at Jace that seemed to say 'help me'. His  _parabatai_ grinned but did nothing. 

When they got back, Magnus fought to contain his giggles. His boyfriend's lashes were coated with eyeliner with a navy blue eye shadow that made his eyes pop. His lipstick was purple, which looked a bit weird, but everything was done with so much precision, Magnus couldn't help but whistle.

Alec glared at him.

"Group picture!" Izzy squealed and held her phone up for a selfie. Everyone gathered round and smiled, expect for Alec, who insisted on pouting. Then Izzy handed him some makeup wipes, which he accepted gratefully. 

Magnus snapped them out of his hand, "Let me!"

Alec rolled his eyes, but got back into the armchair and let his boyfriend clean the layers of foundation from his face.

(A/N I don't know much about makeup, but isn't foundation that thing you put on your skin to give it a certain color? I dunno.)

"Maia, truth or dare?" 

"DARE."

Alec grinned mischievously, "Play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Jace."

"Haha, anyone but him," Maia tugged her boots off happily. " _Jace,_ truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Let Magnus bring in a duck, and you have to touch it."

Jace shed his shirt with out hesitation. "Izzy?"

"Truth."

"What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?" The blond had a wicked smile on his face, as if he knew exactly what she was going to say.

Izzy pondered the question, before she said, "That time I got drunk... and, okay, Jace, stop laughing, they were wearing practically the same outfit that night! Black, black, and black. And I was  _really_ drunk, as in close to passing out drunk, so, ah, I tried to kiss Alec. The next morning was kinda hilarious though, he refused to come out of his room until about three pm. Plus, Alec, he had black hair and grayish eyes, close enough!"

Alec laughed, "So it was accidental incest."

"Exactly! Simon, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Go back to Edom."

Simon raised an eyebrow, "Are you just trying to get me undressed? Because if I do what you're asking, it's basically suicide."

Izzy smiled innocently, and Simon huffed. "Fine." He pulled his boots off, earning a whine from Isabelle.

"Do what Jace did!"

"No. Clary, truth or dare?"

"Truuuuth."

"Have you... What was the worst thing you ever did to Jace?"

Clary's eyes lit up, "Oh, remember when I slapped you a little after we met because you said you were only ninety percent sure that the rune you drew wouldn't kill me? I think, besides training, that's the only time I actually hurt you on purpose."

Alec smiled, "Why am I not mad at you?"

"He deserved it. Magnus, truth or dare?" Clary asked.

"Truth."

"Really?" Alec's eyes widened.

"What do you think of this game?"

"Well, I think it's a waste of time because Alec's clothes are coming off way too slowly."

Alec choked on his own spit, blushing bright red, "Angel, Magnus, don't say things like that!" 

Magnus blinked innocently. "Why not? I'm just saying what's on my mind. Truth or dare?"

"Um, dare?"

"Take your shirt off."

"That's cheating!" Alec protested. "Wait," he smiled, "If I refused, I can just take my shoes off." He reached toward his feet, but Magnus slapped his hands away.

"No!" A spark of blue magic flashed in Magnus's hand, and in an instant, Alec shirt was on the other side of the room. "Better."

Alec scowled as Izzy tried to contain her giggles. He blushed when his boyfriend's hands encircled his bare torso, looking a bit ridiculous with smudges of blue still on his pale face. "Cheer up darling! Now everyone gets to see your amazing abs, blessed by the Angel!" 

"Shut up. Jace, truth or dare?"

"Dare. And no ducks."

"Ok. Fine no touching the duck. Kiss the duck." Alec burs out laughing when Jace visibly paled. "I'm just kidding. Try to paint Clary."

Magnus waved his hand, magicking a canvas and easel into the library, along with a platte, brushes, and a acrylic paint set.

Jace got up and dragged Clary into a chair where she curved her back over the huge armrest, letting her red hair cascade over the side. Then she put a hand to her head and closed her eyes dramatically. 

He started with a fiery red and began to drag a brush over the canvas in squiggly lines. Alec chuckled, and Maia snorted, "Is it supposed to be absolutely horrible?" Jace stuck his tongue out at her and returned to the task at hand.

In the end, it looked like someone was dying, surrounded by a puddle of blood rather than a red armchair. Clary's freckles just looked like huge blotches of blood on her face, and her arms were  _way_ too short.

(a/n So while cruising along Pinterest looking at malec stuff-why not?-i see the occasional clace or clizzy fanart. And like 1% of these posts ever show Clary's freckles. I mean, she has them, guys, did you read the books or not?!)

Clary burst out laughing when she saw the final result, "I'm showing Jocelyn this."

Jocelyn wanted to burn the painting, saying it was an "insult to both her daughter and anything related to art."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK U GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE KUDOS AND COMMENTS
> 
> also, the truth or dare might be continued, so if you guys could leave suggestions for later dares or truths, that would be great :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i felt no inspiration watsoever for continuing truth or dare, mostly bc a already did a mini one way back
> 
> sry guys
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
> raphael gets addeddddddddedededed

_Gravey added Raphael Santiago to the chat_

**Gravey** : HIIIII

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : I am busy.

 **Gravey** : *im

 **Gravey** : In the txtxing world spelling an proper grammer is a curse

 **CuddleDispenser** : tru

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : I don't care.

 **CuddleDispenser** : *****idc

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : Ok? wthicd

 **Gravey** : Ur not doing it rite

 **Gravey** : Only certain exprsions hav abvs

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : This is stupid. Alright, fine. Who the hell is Cuddle Dispenser?

 **Gravey** : *****************wth

 **CuddleDispenser** : Magnus did something to my phone, trust me i hate this name

 **CuddleDispenser** : Its me, alec

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : I am sorry for your loss.

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : Of an actually good name. 

 **CuddleDispenser** : thx

 **BananaBane** : MAH NICKNAM SKILLS R AMAZIN

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : I cannot say the same about your spelling.

 **Gravey** : Jeez, raf, loosen up

 **Raphael** **Santiago** : Do not call me "Raf". The Mark of Cain cannot protect you at this time. I will kill you.

_Gravey changed Raphael Santiago's name to raff_

**raff** : Why is there two f's

_raff changed raff's name to Raphael_

**Gravey** : U R ABSOLUTY NO FUn.

 **Raphael** : And you, fledgling, are an idiot.

 **Gravey** : IM NOT EVEN A VAMP ANYMUR

 **Gravey** : Y is nobody doing anything about me being bulllied

 **Raphael** : *bullied

 **Gravey** : ALRITE DAS IT

_Gravey removed Raphael from the chat_

**CuddleDispenser** : Nooooooo he was the most bearable out of all of u

 **BananaBane** : ??

 **CuddleDispenser** : 2nd***

 **SharpObject** : MAKE THAT THIRD

 **CuddleDispenser** : no

 **SharpObject** : excusame i am ur parabatai

 **CuddleDispenser** : Nd idc

 **SharpObject** : How is bane mur bearable??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

 **CuddleDispenser** : He gives me kisses

 **SharpObject** : I can give u kisses

 **CuddleDispenser** : ew no

 **SharpObject** : :'(

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Y u no wanna kis me

 **SharpObject** : I always wanna kiz u

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : No dat earlier comment earns u no kisses for the rest of the week

 **SharpObject** : NOOOO

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Prove to me u can be as romantic as malec an i will kizz u

 **SharpObject** : CHALLENGE EXECPTED

 **SharpObject** : and y is malec labeled as most romantic

 **BananaBane** : Its mostly meeee

 **CuddleDispenser** : ily but this name sucks

 **BananaBane** : ily 2

 **SharpObject** : Ok. now i understand

 **SharpObject** : If i had a $ evy time u on me mind since the moment i met u i wud only hav a $ cuz dere wasnt a time u weren't on my mind

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Awwwwwwwww wait do u mean dat

 **SharpObject** : yes

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : i giv u kisses

 **SharpObject** : YAY

 **CuddleDispenser** : wait y is magnus da most romantic

 **CuddleDispenser** : Jace was a womanizer bfore he met clary

 **CuddleDispenser** : I jus noticed the most flashy an outgoing ppl as in jace izzy an magnus who probably got a new prtner every week fell in lov with the awkward virgins of the group

 **CuddleDispenser** : which is me, clary, an simon

 **SharpObject** : OH MAH GOD UR RITE

 **BananaBane** : Haha i luv my awkward alexander

 **DaBestest** : wow. jus realized dat

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : we all so weird

 **Gravey** : alec is smart

 **CuddleDispenser** : Of course im smart

_Today, March 10th, 8:10 PM_

**DaBestest** : Aren't spoons just tiny bowls on a stick??

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Wat color r mirrors?

 **SharpObject** : What does water taste like

 **CuddleDispenser** : Can a teacher give a homeless student homework?

 **Gravey** : Y is friday so close to monday but monday so far from friday??

 **Badass** : You never actually see your own face, just reflections and pictures

 **DaBestest** : If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

 **SharpObject** : If i weigh 99 lbs, and eat 1 lb of nacho, does that make me 1% nacho??

 **Gravey** : I can relate to a chicken nugget on a spiratual level

 **Badass** : If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?

 **CuddleDispenser** : Can a crip donate blood??

 **DaBestest** : If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

 **CuddleDispenser** : Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : Why do they call the little candy bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one? 

 **SharpObject** : Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

 **Badass** : If God sneezes, what should you say? 

 **DaBestest** : If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?

 **CuddleDispenser** : If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : What is a picture of a thousand words worth? 

 **Badass** : Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? 

 **Gravey** : Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

 **DaBestest** : Why do they call it "raw sewage"? Is there any other kind?

 **Gravey** : Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

 **BananaBane** : One day, ur parent picked u up, put u down, an never picked u up again

 **SharpObject** : WTF THAT WAS SO DARK

 **Badass** : U JUS RUINED EVERYTHING

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : WHYYYYYYY

 **CuddleDispenser** : magnus....

 **DaBestest** : WE WERE HAVING SO MUCH FUN

 **Gravey** : QUESTIONS THAT SCIENCE CANT EXPLAIN R DA BEST AND U BLEW IT

 **CuddleDispenser** : *cries*

 **BananaBane** : hehe

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I jus remembered dat raphael died and should not be in the gc but EHHHHHH too lazy to change it

**CuddleDispenser** : pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls change my name mags

 **CuddleDispenser** : pls i luv u

 **BananaBane** : ok

 **CuddleDispenser** : I LAV U SO MACHHH

_BananaBane changed CuddleDispenser's name to KissyMachineMwahMwahMwah_

**KissyMachineMwahMwahMwah** : wtf

 **KissyMachineMwahMwahMwah** : CHANGE IT 

_BananaBane changed KissyMachineMwahMwahMwah's name to CuddleDispenser_

**CuddleDispenser** : NOOOO

 **BananaBane** : Either 1 or the other, chose, darling

 **CuddleDispenser** : I hate u

 **BananaBane** : No u dont

 **CuddleDispenser** : ...

 **CuddleDispenser** : Fine, i kinda sorta maybe dont hate u

 **DaBestest** : And that translates to I LUV UUUU

 **BananaBane** : every1 luvs me

 **SharpObject** : i dont

 **SharpObject** : who thinks that magnus is mur fab dan meeee

 **CuddleDispenser** : Mags 

 **DaBestest** : His fashion taste is amazin

 **Gravey** : u were very rude to me at first, so imma say magnus

 **Badass** : I dont like ur cockiness, i say magnus

 **Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee** : No guys, jace is da best!!!!!!

 **SharpObject** : YAAAAAAA

 **BananaBane** : I mur fab. jace, u outvoted

 **SharpObject** : die

_Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee changed Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's name to Clary_

**SharpObject** : No we need a nicknam

 **Gravey** : yas

 **Clary** : too

 **Clary** : bad

_CuddleDispenser changed Clary's name to tiny red mushroom_

**tiny** **red** **mushroom** : OK NO

 **tiny red mushroom** : NOT AGAIN

_CuddleDispenser changed tiny red mushroom's name to "it"_

**"it"** : _???_

 **"it"** : y

 **CuddleDispenser** : i still don like u

 **BananaBane** : U only like me

 **Gravey** : GUYS LETS HAVE ANOTHER MOVIE NITE

 **SharpObject** : we have to stop hanging out like this ppl would think we friends

 **Gravey** : rude

 **Gravey** : It can be at magnus place again so he pick

 **CuddleDispenser** : THE HUNGER GAMES

 **CuddleDispenser** : ALL 4

 **CuddleDispenser** : PLS MAGS

 **Gravey** : Star wars

 **DaBestest** : Yes

 **CuddleDispenser** : Was this influenced by that time u took advantage of my bby sis

 **Gravey** : for the last time ALL I DID WAS TELL HER THE ENTIRE PLOT OF STAR WARS

 **Gravey** : Y IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND

 **"it"** : Wait wait wait i wanna watch harry potter lets do a all 8 movie marathon

 **SharpObject** : SOMETHING RATED R

 **BananaBane** : we keep it pg13 for my bby bf

 **CuddleDispenser** : SHADDIP MAGNUS

 **CuddleDispenser** : pls hunger games

 **"it"** : wat about passengers

 **DaBestest** : OH YAS DAT WAS SO ROMANTICCCCCC

 **CuddleDispenser** : No i want the hunger games

 **DaBestest** : TWILIGHT

 **"it"** : YAS

 **CuddleDispenser** : Bella is pathetic she be all I DON WANNA HURT ANYONNEEEEE an katniss be all *hair flick* *shoves peeta an gale aside* MOVE IT I GOTTA GAME TO WIN

 **CuddleDispenser** : she badass

 **Badass** : hmmm yessss but no... i wanna watch harry potter

 **BananaBane** : Has every1 forgotten that IM choosin

 **CuddleDispenser** : pickk meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Gravey** : NO STAR WARS

 **DaBestest** : RISE OF THE BRAVE TANGLED DRAGONS MARATHON

 **CuddleDispenser** : no pick meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **SharpObject:** RATED R

 **BananaBane** : wat do i get out of it

 **Gravey** : 1$

 **DaBestest** : 1.01$

 **SharpObject** : 10$

 **"it"** : 11$

 **Badass** : IM NOT GIVING MONEY FER THIS SHIT

 **Gravey** : 15$

 **CuddleDispenser** : a hug

 **BananaBane** : alec wins

 **"it"** : THAT WAS SO UNFAIR

...

It was a spell gone wrong. Magnus put vampire hair into the potion instead of werewolf hair, and Chairman Meow had decided that the pink and green swirls looked delicious.

So now the little bastard was rubbing up against the warlock's boyfriend, purring about how he loved Alec because he was the only one who fed him constantly and about how Magnus was a forgetful caretaker.

Magnus only gaped. Cats (obviously,) couldn't talk. Shouldn't talk. Alec seemed just as stunned.

"Now, I  _do_ look hot when I sneeze, do I?" Chairman sniffed, pleased. "But Magnus doesn't look adorable! He just looks weird. But he's okay, I guess."

"Okay?!" Magnus narrowed his eyes playfully, making himself forget the fact that this was nowhere near normal.

But what was normal, anyway? He'd never known.

Alec smiled, "How do I look when I sneeze?"

"Cute."

Alec glanced at Magnus, "Should being called 'cute' by a cat offend me?"

"...No?" Magnus walked over and scooped up Chairman, muttering a small spell.

The cat let out an unhappy squeak when he realized he couldn't talk anymore. He went as far as giving the warlock's ankles a small scratch, then dove under the couch.

Alec chuckled, "Do you think I'm cute when I sneeze?"

"Obviously."

...

 **SharpObject** : So i jus gotta question on my facebook

 **SharpObject** : its fer clary

 **"it"** : ??

 **SharpObject** : 'simon or alec'

 **"it"** : Jace

 **SharpObject** : As in would u rather date simon or alec

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **Gravey** : pick me

 **Gravey** : u actually dated me bfore

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **CuddleDispenser** : ew no im gay

 **"it"** : Jace

 **Gravey** : MEEEEEE

 **Gravey** : ME

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **Gravey** : damn she's trained well

 **"it"** : Jace

 **CuddleDispenser** : But if i wasnt gay..?

 **"it"** : Jace

 **CuddleDispenser** : ok

 **Gravey** : MEEE

 **DaBestest** : should i b offended

 **Gravey** : NO I LUV UUU

 **"it"** : Jace

 **Gravey** : SHUT UP CLARY

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **"it"** : Jace

 **Gravey** : i will delete this gc if u don stop

 **"it"** : Jace

 **DaBestest** : NO

 **DaBestest** : DONT DELETE I LOVE THIS GC ITS THE ONLY TIME WHERE WE ALL GANG UP TO BULLY ALEC

 **CuddleDispenser** : excuse me?!!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i don like dragons"
> 
> OK SOMEONE NEEDS TO SUE MY FRIEND BC OBVI SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER  
> DRAGONS R AMAZING  
> IDC IF THEY "NOT REAL"  
> DRAGONS WILL RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY  
> SO SHUT UP U NON-BELIEVERS  
> STFU


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DAD LET ME TOUCH MY LAPTOP INSTEAD OF ONLY READING FANFICS ON MY PHONE
> 
> I GOTTA A UPDATE IN BFORE I GO TO THE AIRPORT FOR EXACTLY 22 HRS OF TORTURE
> 
> SO HI GUYS AND UR WELCOME
> 
> srsly how did i manage an updateeeeeee????? honestly i have no idea
> 
>  
> 
> Magnus's name (finally) changes
> 
> I know its been BananaBane for about 10 chapters, but a) imma rlly lazy person if you haven't noticed, b) I like BananaBane, so suck it

**Gravey** : LES ALL GO CAMPINGGGG

 **BananaBane** : TELL ME ANOTHER JOKE

 **Gravey** : I wasnt joking

 **BananaBane** : In that case, you'll never take me alive

 **"it"** : Sounds fun, im in!!

 **SharpObject** : I will go to fite off the cockroaches

 **Gravey** : Aw thx

 **SharpObject** : For clary

 **Gravey** : :'(

 **DaBestest** : Im with magnus

 **DaBestest** : I refuse to get my hair ruined

 **DaBestest** : AND THERES NO ACTUAL SHOWERS AN BATHROOMS

 **DaBestest** : WHO IN THEIR RITE MIND WOULD GO WILLINGLY

 **BananaBane** : exactly

 **CuddleDispenser** : I like the idea lez go

 **Badass** : YAAAAAAAAA

 **CuddleDispenser** : Pls magnus

 **CuddleDispenser** : pls

 **CuddleDispenser** : If u don do this i will break up with u

 **BananaBane** : U WOULDNT

 **CuddleDispenser** : Ok mayb not but if u dont i will take all the sweets in the house and lock them into a chest with ten locking runes

 **BananaBane** : Bluff

 **CuddleDispenser** : Try me

 **BananaBane** : yes sir

 **SharpObject** : Wait cant u jus magic in new ones?????

 **BananaBane** : Alec put a ban on magic used on "things i can do on my own" 

 **BananaBane** : Im way too lazy to WALK to the STORE

 **BananaBane** : Its a BLOCK away

 **BananaBane** : A BLOCK

 **BananaBane** : A WHOLE BLOCK WITH NO PORTAL

_CuddleDispenser changed BananaBane's name to LazyDramaQueen_

**LazyDramaQueen** : Ok no

_LazyDramaQueen changed LazyDramaQueen's name to PossessiveBastard_

_PossessiveBastard changed CuddleDispenser's name to PROPERTY OF MAGNUS LIGHTWOOD-BANE_

**PROPERTY OF MAGNUS LIGHTWOOD-BANE** : ?

_DaBestest changed PROPERTY OF MAGNUS LIGHTWOOD-BANE's name to PoMLB_

**DaBestest** : Bc imma nice person

 **PoMLB** : The only reason im not calling u a bitch is bc ily

 **PossessiveBastard** : ty izy

 **Gravey** : I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA

 **"it"** : oh no

 **SharpObject** : yay............

 **Gravey** : SHUT UP

 **Gravey** : BC MAGNUS AN IZY R BEING PRISSY PRINCESSESS, WE R DOING SOMETHIN DIFFEREN

 **Gravey** : Magnus loft will be taken over *again* an we'll do a sorta camping thing there

 **Gravey** : bathroom an living room

 **Gravey** : NO BEDS

 **Gravey** : SLEEPING BAGS, PILLOWS, BLANKETS. NO ELECTRICITY

 **SharpObject** : That last part is too much

 **Gravey** : Clary tell him it'll be fun

 **"it"** : I actually like the idea

 **"it"** : Pls jace

 **SharpObject** : FINE

_"it" changed SharpObject's name to GoodPerson_

**DaBestest** : Vry debatable

 **PoMLB** : agreed

 **GoodPerson** : HEY

 **Gravey** : Can we do it 2nite??

 **Badass** : Sure sounds fun

 **Gravey** : YAY

 **Gravey** : Izy????

 **DaBestest** : ...if every1 doing it sure

 **PoMLB** : ok

 **PossessiveBastard** : I GET TO MAKE OUT WITH ALEC IN DA DARKKKK

 **PoMLB** : U do that all the time anyway...along with other things 

 **GoodPerson** : TMI.

...

Magnus thought the pillow fort was great. So did Jace, but Alec insisted that it was unnecessary and unstable. It was big enough to fit everyone inside, with three stacks of pillows to act as support beams. Clary, Izzy, and Maia were giggling in the corner, while Simon had already snuggled himself into his Star Wars sleeping bag. 

"I mean, it could crash down on us at in the middle of the night," Alec complained to Jace.

Jace just rolled his eyes, "Learn to have some fun, big bro."

"I can't if I might suffocate!"

Magnus scooted over and pecked his shadowhunter on the cheek, "I have enforced the structure with magic, darling. And I will save everyone like the superhero I am if it collaspes."

"And where am I in this hair-raising tale?" Alec teased. 

"Well, every story needs a damsel in distress." 

Alec shoved Magnus into a pile of pillows and stuck his tongue out at him. Then he climbed into the glittery purple sleeping bag that he and Magnus shared and pouted.

Jace laughed, "Yes, our blue-eyed princess. With skin as white as snow, lips as red as cherries, hair as black as... how did they put it in the movie? Whatever. Alec SnowWhite or something."

"GO TO HELL."

Izzy giggled when a small cushion, surrounded by a thin layer of sky blue magic, sailed over and bashed her brother in the face. 

"Language," Magnus sang, slipping into the spot beside Alec.

"You've said the 'f-word' a few times yourself," Alec retorted.

"Well, I have no innocence to preserve."

"I'll show you innocent," Alec pulled Magnus toward him, crashing their lips together.

"Ew!"

"Again?!"

"Aww!"

"Why..."

"Ugh!"

"It would be cute if it wasn't so constant."

"Not even then, Maia."

"NO. MAKE IT STOP."

"Shut up, Jace, this is adorable."

"Not everyone ships Malec as much as you do."

"Why can't you rave about Sizzy? You care more about your brother's love life than ours..."

"Simon, you know I love you, but shipping other people is fun!"

"True."

Magnus pulled away, annoyed, "Can you five shut up? I am currently trying to make out with my husband."

Alec hummed in agreement with half-lidded eyes, "Whatever he just said."

Jace groaned, "I'm going to bed. C'mon, Clary.

Clary pecked his lips and crawled into the sleeping bag that the two shared.

"Just a warning to you all, Jace snores." Clary laughed. 

"I DO NOT."

"Yeah. If quiet lawnmowers were a thing."

Izzy chuckled, "Pretty sure Simon snores too."

"IZZY."

...

 

 **Gravey** : I WANNA C WHO DA BESTEST BOYFRIEND

 **PoMLB** : FOR THE LAST TIME BESTEST IS NOT A WORD

 **Gravey** : idc

 **PoMLB** : Watever, mags is gonna win anyway

 **GoodPerson** : I CAN WIN

 **Gravey** : YA ME 2

 **DaBestest** : Simon is the best

 **Gravey** : WHOEVER CAN MAKE THE BEST LOVE CONFESSIONS

 **"it"** : Ha if we're talking jace a simple 'i love u' is great

 **PossessiveBastard** : HOLD UP IMMA OWN DIS

 **PossessiveBastard** : U BOYS DON STAND A CHANCE

 **PoMLB** : im not even gonna try 

 **GoodPerson** : I will win

 **Gravey** : Izzy, u r my world an i would do anything for u, i luv uuuuuuuuuuuuu an im so lucky that u noticed me and decided that i was worthy of u, even tho u deserve so much better

 **DaBestest** : awwwwwwwww :D and no we deserve eachother

 **Badass** : My bf not here so im the judge....8.5/10

 **Gravey** : beat dat

 **PoMLB** : *growls*

 **DaBestest** : It ok alec WE MARRIED he isnt gonna hurt me

 **PoMLB** : mrghhhhh

 **GoodPerson** : Clary

 **GoodPerson** : I like u a lot

 **"it"** : WOW.

 **GoodPerson** : nah jk ily claryyyyyyyyyy  u is da light of me life

 **GoodPerson** : And u saved me when i died so u da reason im alive, literally

 **Badass** : 8.4/10

 **Gravey** : HA

 **Gravey** : MINE WAS BETTER

 **Badass** : Ok magnus

 **PossessiveBastard** : Alexanderrrrrr

 **PoMLB** : im listening

 **PossessiveBastard** : I love u, so much that i wouldnt just die for u, i would kill for u

 **Badass** : 10/10

 **PossessiveBastard** : BOOM

 **PossessiveBastard** : THATS HOW ITS DONE

_GoodPerson has left the group chat_

_Gravey added GoodPerson to the group chat_

**Gravey** : WE'RE NOT DONE, SO DONT U GO ANYWHERE MR. STUPID

 **GoodPerson** : I hate u

 **Gravey** : Ik

 **Gravey** : alrite most bestest place u took ur gf/bf to

 **PoMLB** : Easy!! paris

 **PoMLB** : No, the park where magnus proposed

 **PoMLB** : No wait, the loft balcony when magnus first told me he loved me

 **Gravey** : AND ALEC WINS BEST BF OF THE YR

 **PoMLB** : ...

 **GoodPerson** : WTF I HAVENT EVEN GONE YET

 **Gravey** : i dont giva damn

 **GoodPerson** : I will kick ur ass at training tmr

 **PoMLB** : and i will stay in with magnus all day watching crappy tv shows

 **PoMLB** : but i get cuddles so it worth it

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After chapter 5, when I write a new chapter, I keep having to open up a new tab so I can check what the nickname for everyone is, bc my memory is the equivilent of a goldfish's. 
> 
>  
> 
> also good person doesnt fit jace at all im gonna have to change it in next chap
> 
>  
> 
> alrite sue me if u want, but i cant remember when's the first time malec said deir 'i love u's in da books, so i jus assumed it was on the balconyyy
> 
> btw u guys should check out this work Big City by rae rambles the full thing is on fanfiction.net and ITS SO SWEET I LOVED IT so if ur bored READ IT
> 
> andddddddddd this user Lecrit writes alotta good malec fanfics so check her out toooooooo


	15. Chapter 15

**PossessiveBastard** : Alec can u come outside

 **PoMLB** : y

 **PossessiveBastard** : Im on the institute steps jus come outside

 **PoMLB** : But its raining

 **PossessiveBastard** : I kno that SO COME OUTSIDE

 **PoMLB** : Y its raining!! Im gonna get wet and cold

 **PossessiveBastard** : Well 2 bad cuz I wanna do a cliche kiss in da rain

 **PoMLB** : Wth is that

 **PossessiveBastard** : Izzy has alexander here ever seen a romantic movie

 **PossessiveBastard** : like ever

 **PossessiveBastard** : Now alec I wanna do a cliche kiss in da rain

 **PossessiveBastard** : come outside

 **PoMLB** : NO

 **PossessiveBastard** : evil

 **PossessiveBastard** : pls

 **PossessiveBastard** : At least let me in

 **PoMLB** : U can do dat urself

 **PossessiveBastard** : Yes but i wanna c u

 **PoMLB** : sighhhh

 **PossessiveBastard** : YAYYYYY

_Yesterday, March 17th, 9:03_

**PoMLB** : Magnus i hate u alot

 **PossessiveBastard** : ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **DaBestest** : wat happened

 **DaBestest** : i wanna kno

_PoMLB changed DaBestest’s name to Nosyy_

_Nosyy changed Nosyy’s name to Queen_

**PossessiveBastard** : tru

 **Queen** : Now tell me wat happened

 **PoMLB** : Me bf is evil

 **PoMLB** : I got wet and cold

 **PossessiveBastard** : I MAGICKED U DRY

 **PoMLB** : I stll got wet nd cold

 **PoMLB** : All for stupid ‘cliche kiss in the rain’

 **PossessiveBastard** : It was worth it dou

 **PoMLB** : U pushed me outside!!

 **PoMLB** : I GOT WET AN COLD

 **Queen** : ahhhhh i c

 **Queen** : I c wat happened

 **Queen** : Good job magnus

 **PoMLB** : Y am i always the victim

 **PoMLB** : WET. AND. COLD.

 **PoMLB** : WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE

 **Queen** : U’ve fought demons in the rain

 **PoMLB** : ***WORST KISSING EXPERIENCE

 **Queen** : Me an simon were coming home from a demon hunt and it was raining an WE KISSED AN IT WAS SO ROMANTIC

 **Gravey** : DONT SPILL OUR PRIVAT E LIFE TO THE WORLD

 **Gravey** : WAT DID WE TALK ABOUT ISABELEE LIGHTWOOD

 **Queen** : oops

_Queen changed Gravey’s name to Taco_

**Taco** : ??

 **Queen** : I jus remembered the date we went on an u took me to dat taco place

 **Taco** : IT WAS SO GOOD

 **Queen** : My taco cracked an the stuff got on my skirt

 **Taco** : Oh ya :P

 **Queen** : nd u LAUGHED

 **Taco** : Oh ya :P

 **Taco** : U remembered

 **Taco** : Running away rite now :P

 **PoMLB** : Hes hiding in my room izy come finish him off

 **Taco** : ALEC I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS

 **PoMLB** : U jus barged into my room begging for a hiding place

 **PoMLB** : An i laughed in ur face

 **PoMLB** : Wat gave u the idea dat we were bros

 **Taco** : Ur so cruel

 **Taco** : Running now

 **Taco** : Again

 **Taco** : But we all kno u luvvv me alec

 **PoMLB** : …

 **PossessiveBastard** : he does

_PoMLB has left the conversation_

**GoodPerson** : HI LAME PPL WHO ARENT NEARLY AS COOL AS ME

 **PossessiveBastard** : Haha izzy look he still salty about u guys classifying me as more amazing than him

Queen: Suck it up jace its tru

_PossessiveBastard changed GoodPerson’s name to SaltySalt_

**SaltySalt** : die

 **PossessiveBastard** : *omg magnus u r so amazing wat did we do to deserve uuuuu

 **PossessiveBastard** : Awwwww jace luvs me

_SaltySalt has left the conversation_

**“it”** : Magnus stop making ppl leave the gc soon we’ll have no one left

 **PossessiveBastard** : ahahahahahaahahahahahahhhh

 **Badass** : hi

 **Taco** : hi

 **PossessiveBastard** : feygihbckhqiogurefh cat fhe sitting          on jcewiuwed phone               m\     /08976567y75tyg6r55fwnrgrnqhefi

 **Taco** : *cat sitting on phone

 **Taco** : Ur welcome

 **Badass** : How does a cat sit on a phone

 **Queen** : Chairman meow can do anything

 **PossessiveBastard** : fFUEHIJNWUHDFWOIFJNAWGHQ99999999999999999999999

 **Badass** : lol

 **PoMLB** : This gc is a failure an every1 sucks

 **Taco** : Alec is extraa grumpy grump today

 **PoMLB** : die

 **PossessiveBastard** : I GOTTA MAH PHONEA BACKA

 **PossessiveBastard** : An alec’s jus mad bc i pointed out how short he was yesterday

 **PoMLB** : IM ABOVE AVERAGE

 **PoMLB** : IM TALL

 **PoMLB** : UR JUS A TINY TINY BIT TALLER

 **PoMLB** : BUT ITS SO ANNOYING BC I HAVE TO REACH UP A MILE TO KISS U

 **PoMLB** : DRINK A POTION OR SOMETHING

 **PossessiveBastard** : c??

 **Queen** : I think clary struggles da most

 **Queen** : She almost a foot sshorter than jace

 **PoMLB** : AT LEAST JACE DOESNT POINT IT OUT AN BE AN ASS ABOUT IT

 **Taco** : Is his keypad stuck on caps lock or wat

 **PoMLB** : no. shut up

 **PossessiveBastard** : My smoll little shorty short beany bean

 **PoMLB** : STOP

 **PoMLB** : IK WAT U DOING IZZY

 **PoMLB** : DONT U DARE CHANGE MY NAME TO THAT

 **PoMLB** : OR I WILL TELL MOM AN DAD ABOUT THAT WEREWLF U DATED

 **Queen** : damn

 **Queen** : But we all gonna call u smoll little shorty short beany bean now

 **PoMLB** : die

 **PossessiveBastard** : No dat my name fer himm

 **PoMLB** : DONT U DARE

 **Taco** : Ok

 **Taco** : We all kno alec wud murder me if i called him dat

 **PoMLB** : i

 **PoMLB** : am

 **PoMLB** : not

 **PoMLB** : short

 **PossessiveBastard** : Yes but compared to me u short

 **PoMLB** : Two inches

 **PoMLB** : By the angel

 **PossessiveBastard** : MY SMOLL LITTLE BEANNNNN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know how to end a fic like this, and i have so many ideas I wanna upload onto ao3, soooooo i might updte again, but for now, this fic is finished.
> 
>  
> 
> it was so fun to write, an big thanks to everyone who left a comment, it motivated a lottttttt, so without you, this would only have 1 chapter
> 
> I think imma start a abo fic, since everyone seems to be doing that, soooooooooo BAI AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READINGG
> 
> this fic has over 200 kudos so while i would like to give a shoutout, its gonna take me forever to list everyone. 
> 
> butttttttttt, shoutout to Hema, Lbunny, Intoxic, MiaVivisol, AnimeCas, HeraNightShade, Angeleyz4ever, FutereWriter, booksmusicandmagic, Kiromenanz, dsr, MADStar17, everythingends, Rosella parker, zack, Zoe, and Ned for leaving comments you have no idea how much it means to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
> 
> Also thank you for reading!! Ive repeated this so many times but still
> 
> im definitly not done with malec so im thinking about a abo fanficcccc and BAI HAVE A NICE LIFE


End file.
